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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23963839">Come and Rescue me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiriamMT/pseuds/MiriamMT'>MiriamMT</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Gallavich FanFiction [9]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shameless (US)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Addiction, Alternate Universe - Bodyguard, Angst, Blackmail, Blow Jobs, Bodyguard Romance, First Kiss, Good Sibling Iggy Milkovich, Hurt Mickey Milkovich, Ian Gallagher In Love, M/M, Protective Ian Gallagher, Sad Mickey Milkovich, Sandy Milkovich &amp; Mickey Milkovich Friendship, Smut, Terry Milkovich's A+ Parenting, Ukrainian Mickey Milkovich, druglord</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 16:15:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>35,673</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23963839</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiriamMT/pseuds/MiriamMT</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Terry Milkovich is a druglord, the most dangerous man in Chicago. He employs security for his children, eventually Ian Gallagher ends up as Mickey's new bodyguard. Mickey quickly learns about Ian's sexuality and tries to use this to blackmail him - but Ian isn't the type to let other people blackmail him, he is however the type to suck Mickey off though. And he is the type to fall in love with the man, even though all odds are against them. </p><p>Low-key inspired by The Royals (TV show)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich, Mickey Milkovich/Original Male Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Gallavich FanFiction [9]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1551802</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>77</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>185</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Surrender the Night</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>The title "Come and Rescue me" is from a song called "Rescue me" (it exists in english and german) by Tokio Hotel - a band which almost everyone loved 2005-2010 and now they're so bad that everybody pretends to always have hated them anyways<br/>You should listen to the song, the story isn't about it, but it is a beautiful song. </p><p>Also the story is a bit inspired by The Royals Tv show, specifically Jasper and Eleanor. You don't need to know the show to read the story though obv</p>
    </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Mickey is around 20 years old in this, I'm not sure about Ian, but for the sake of the story I want him to be the older one here. Maybe just by a year or two.</p><p>Now you surrender your heart,<br/>I surrender every dream,<br/>Every weapon you've got,<br/>Every secret that I keep,<br/>You can fight this all you want,<br/>But tonight belongs to me</p><p>- Surrender the Night by My Chemical Romance</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Milkoviches owned the biggest drug cartel in Chicago. Even though this was common knowledge, the Police could never prove anything.</p><p>They were a dangerous family, Terry was the patriarch, a narcissistic, sadistic, evil man. If someone was disloyal, or even just suspected to be disloyal, he was a dead man.</p><p>It wasn't like Terry particularly cared about his children – neither from his marriage nor his bastards that he probably had. But he still provided security for them, so the rivalry drug families and police couldn't harm him and destroy the future of his empire. At least one of his sons had to survive him and everyone shall be damned who lay a finger on his daughter. From the outside one may think he really loved Mandy, but if anything, he viewed her as his possession.</p><p>His youngest son was Mickey. He was more interested in taking drugs than selling them, he took advantage of the good sides this life as a rich drug family brought. He tended to step out of line, just enough to be deemed a rebel and uncontrollable but not enough for his father to freak out about him. Instead, he tended to fire Mickey's security details, convinced it was their fault that Mickey was even able to step out of line the way he did, or maybe he just told himself that because he didn't want to admit to himself that he couldn't control the youngest the way he could control his older sons.</p><p>Recently, Mickey got a new security detail, his name was Gallagher. He had red hair and he was tall and looked hot in the tight, black suit.</p><p>Gallagher did his job good, he made sure he was safe wherever he went, even though Mickey thought it was highly unnecessary, and no matter how hard Mickey tried, he could never slip away from him. When he thought he got rid of Gallagher and could go on about his secrets, the tall redhead stood next to him again, as if nothing ever happened. It was as frustrating as it was amusing.</p><p>With his other bodyguards he always had something he could hold against them, a little blackmail on the side for a night out without nosey suits watching him. And now he finally found out Gallagher's little secret.</p><p>Mickey was in his room, dinner had passed, and he knew Gallagher stood in front of his door.</p><p>"Mr Gallagher", Mickey called him, a second later the bodyguard came in.<br/>
"Yes, Mr Milkovich?"<br/>
"Come in", Mickey sat on a couch in his bedroom. Gallagher closed the door behind him and walked up to him. Mickey had noticed several times that Gallagher's movements looked like he had a military background.</p><p>Mickey got up and started circling the ginger.</p><p>"I heard something interesting about you, Mr Gallagher."<br/>
"About me, Sir?"<br/>
"Yes, you see, my people can do background checks all they want, but there are things I can find out that they can't."<br/>
"With all due respect, Sir, I've overseen several background checks myself, they are quite thorough."<br/>
"Sure, about family, job and whether you're a cop or not. But I'm interested in something else.", he stopped in front of him, "You're gay."</p><p>Gallagher continued staring straight ahead, instead of at Mickey directly.<br/>
"I am not."<br/>
"Why are you denying it, I know it's true. So, you know my father would kill you if he knew about that."<br/>
Gallagher swallowed hard.<br/>
"Lucky for you, I am not my father. I couldn't care less who you fuck, but I do think that this information can come in handy."<br/>
"Are you blackmailing me, Sir?", Gallagher asked emotionlessly.<br/>
"Yes, don't take it personally, without a little blackmail now and then we'd all be lost, right? But I do wonder, if you're gay and know about good old daddy being a giant homophobe, why would you want to work here?"</p><p>Now Gallagher looked at him, "With all due respect, Sir, I think that's my business."<br/>
Mickey raised his eyebrows at him, "I guess so... well, if you don't want to tell me, I can't make you, right? But I can make you do other things."<br/>
"It is my job to not leave your side, especially if you walk around the city. If anything happens to you, I am a dead man, no matter if gay or not."<br/>
"I see... you're right. But that's not what I'm talking about, one day I will slip away from you like I always do."</p><p>Gallagher still looked at him, "I dare doubting that."<br/>
Mickey smirked and sat down on the couch again.<br/>
"Come here"<br/>
Gallagher came closer until he stood in front of Mickey.<br/>
"On your knees."</p><p>Gallagher looked down at him with raised eyebrows.<br/>
"That wasn't a question, Mr Gallagher."<br/>
Gallagher slowly sank to his knees, so he was sitting in front of Mickey. The Milkovich opened his pants and pulled his cock out, he started stroking himself. Gallagher looked up at him, but he didn't look as confused and worried as the other bodyguards he had done this with, even though he could find those things in his eyes, he looked interested, curious... turned on.</p><p>"Suck my dick, Mr Gallagher and I won't tell my dad about your preferences... at least not today."</p><p>Gallagher swallowed hard. He nodded briefly and looked at Mickey's cock in the smaller man's hand. Mickey smirked and stopped stroking himself so Gallagher could take over.</p><p>He licked over his lips and started sucking on Mickey's tip while stroking his dick. Mickey leaned back into the couch and let Gallagher get to work. He swirled his tongue around his tip and licked up and down his shaft, coating him in spit, he used his one hand to massage his balls and with the other guided his cock into his mouth.</p><p>He hollowed his cheeks around him and bobbed his head up and down, letting Mickey's cock slide past his slips and back out. He licked up his shaft, sucked on the tip and took him fully in. He deepthroated him without gagging once, Mickey was impressed, he looked down at the ginger and ran his hand through Gallagher's red hair, moaning softly.</p><p>The bodyguard got back up, sucked on the tip again and started bobbing his head up and down again.<br/>
"Fuck yes", Mickey moaned lowly. Gallagher started bobbing his head faster, deepthroated him again, he came up again, panted shortly while still massaging his balls, he licked up his shaft again and then went down to his balls, sucked one of them into his mouth while jerking Mickey off. Mickey pulled lightly on his red hair.</p><p>Gallagher switched back to sucking his dick.<br/>
"I'm coming", Mickey moaned.<br/>
The Ginger didn't slow his movements, he swirled his tongue around his tip. Mickey came down Gallagher's throat, his hand pulling on his hair. The bodyguard pulled back from Mickey and panted heavily.</p><p>Mickey smiled satisfied and tucked his cock away again. He looked down at Gallagher, who had a bit cum on his chin. Mickey wiped it away with his thumb and then let his thumb slip into Gallagher's mouth so he could suck the cum off his thumb. He looked up at him while he did it and they locked eyes for a moment. Mickey could only think how fucking hot this man in front of him was.</p><p>He quickly pulled his thumb back out of his mouth and shifted in his seat.<br/>
"Thanks, Mr Gallagher, you can go now.", he stated and got up from the couch.</p><p>Gallagher looked after him, blinked a few times and then quickly gathered himself and left the room.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Wicked Game</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>What a wicked game to play<br/>To make me feel this way<br/>What a wicked thing to do<br/>To let me dream of you<br/>What a wicked thing to say<br/>You never felt this way<br/>What a wicked thing to do<br/>To make me dream of you<br/>And I don't want to fall in love</p><p>- Wicked Game by HIM</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The blackmail went on for a few weeks.<br/>
Mickey called Gallagher to his room in the evening, got a blowjob and then threw him out of the room.</p><p>This evening the bodyguard came into Mickey's room, the Milkovich sat on his couch like usual, but instead of immediately going to him and getting to work eagerly, he stopped between door and couch and crossed his arms.</p><p>Mickey looked at him with raised eyebrows.<br/>
"What are you doing over there? Come here."<br/>
"No", Gallagher stated.</p><p>"No?", Mickey got up and walked up to him, "Do I have to remind you-"<br/>
"Stop blackmailing me, you can't do that anymore."<br/>
"And why not?"<br/>
"Because I got just as much against you as you got against me."<br/>
Mickey looked at him confused.</p><p>"You're gay too, your dad would hurt you too, if he knew."<br/>
Mickey bit his bottom lip and made a step back, he sat down on the armrest of the couch.<br/>
"Why would Terry believe your word over mine?"<br/>
"He doesn't need to. I just need to tell a few members of the staff about it. Need to spread the rumour about Mickey Milkovich's homosexuality until it reaches your father, and he would rather hurt you than having people thinking you were gay. We both know that."</p><p>Mickey crossed his arms in front of his chest and scoffed. He looked up at Gallagher.<br/>
"Yeah, we both know that.", he nodded and stood up, "I must say, I'm impressed. I did this with every bodyguard I had before and not once did one of them think of fighting back, using this against me.", he stood in front of Gallagher again and smirked, "It is very hot."</p><p>Gallagher looked down at him confused.<br/>
"What?"<br/>
"In contrast to the rest of my family I'm not actually into having a braindead sex-robot at my hand. I just don't have any other way to do something with guys without someone finding out, especially since you never let me out of your sight, and I couldn't visit my clubs in secret. That you fight back is a turn on. Too bad that's over now, isn't it?"</p><p>Gallagher licked his lips, "I can-", he cleared his throat, "I can suck you off again."<br/>
"You just came in here to tell me that it stops."<br/>
"I want the blackmail to stop. I have no problem with blowing you every once in a while, I have a problem with being blackmailed into doing it."</p><p>"Huh", Mickey smirked, "That changes things. Knew you liked it at least a bit, I could tell from the look in your eyes... you were excited to be dominated a bit."<br/>
Gallagher sighed, "A bit", he admitted, "Usually not."</p><p>Mickey nodded, "Yeah, I like getting dominated from time to time... but not right now.", he smirked, "I stop with the blackmail, but I want to play a game.", he said and went to the door.</p><p>"A game?", Gallagher asked.<br/>
"Yes, it's called <em>Mickey says</em>.", he said and locked the door to his room, "It's like <em>Simon says</em> but I say it and you have to do what I say, except if I don't say 'Mickey says'. If you make it through the game without a mistake you get something, if you make a mistake you have to leave for tonight and neither of us gets anything. Got it?"</p><p>"Get what?", Gallagher asked.<br/>
"You'll see. So, you game?"<br/>
He nodded.</p><p>Mickey smirked, "Mickey says, take your jacket off."</p><p>Gallagher took the black suit jacket off and threw it on the couch.<br/>
Mickey leaned against the door, "Mickey says take your shirt off."</p><p>The bodyguard unbuttoned his shirt and let it fall to the ground. Mickey smirked and came closer again.<br/>
"Mickey says, take your shoes off"<br/>
Mr Gallagher did so.<br/>
"And the pants."<br/>
The ginger looked at him, not moving, Mickey grinned, "Good, you understood that.", he put his hands on his shoulders and ran them down the bodyguard's body, "Mickey says take your pants off."</p><p>Gallagher undid his belt and unzipped his pants with Mickey standing right in front of him. He stepped out of them and kicked them over the floor.<br/>
Mickey ran his hands down Gallagher's body to his boxers and over his cock which was half-hard in his boxers.</p><p>"You like the game, huh?"<br/>
Gallagher swallowed hard.<br/>
"Take my shirt off."<br/>
Gallagher bit his lip and looked into Mickey's eyes.<br/>
"Mickey says, take my shirt off."</p><p>Gallagher became impatient, he quickly pulled Mickey's t-shirt off Mickey and threw it behind him. Mickey chuckled.<br/>
"Mickey says undo my jeans"<br/>
Gallagher unbuttoned and unzipped his pants and stopped himself from pushing them down, he had his hands on the jeans and his thumbs were stroking over Mickey's bare skin.</p><p>"You're getting impatient", Mickey mumbled, "Can barely stop yourself. Better concentrate or the game ends and you would have to go. Let go off my jeans."<br/>
Gallagher let his hands where they were, Mickey smiled, he took a step back, "Come with me", he said and went to the bed. Gallagher stayed where he was.</p><p>Mickey chuckled to himself, "You're good at this."<br/>
"I've got three younger and two older siblings, sir. I play this game since I was three."<br/>
"Not always while getting undressed I hope."<br/>
"No."<br/>
Mickey smiled, "Mickey says, come here to the bed."</p><p>Gallagher was quickly by his side making Mickey laugh lightly. "I imagined what that body would look like under the suit, the reality looks even better.", he wrapped one arm around Gallagher's neck and let the other hand wander down to his boxers, he let his hand slip into them and grasped his cock, making the bodyguard gasp slightly. Mickey smirked. They stood next to the bed.</p><p>"Take my pants off."<br/>
Gallagher looked down at him, not moving.<br/>
"Mickey says take my pants and boxers off."</p><p>Gallagher quickly pushed Mickey's jeans and boxer shorts down and Mickey stepped out of them, he stood in front of him completely naked. Gallagher moaned lowly, Mickey looked gorgeous and he jerked his cock. He had seen his dick a few times now, but never Mickey completely bare.</p><p>"Touch me", Mickey whispered lowly into Gallagher's ear.<br/>
Gallagher closed his eyes for a moment and forced his hands not to move.<br/>
"You can even concentrate while I have my hand around your dick, huh?"<br/>
"Barely", Gallagher admitted and locked eyes with him.<br/>
"That's pretty fucking hot."<br/>
"Thanks"</p><p>"Mickey says touch me however you want", he whispered and leaned his head against Gallagher's shoulder.</p><p>The bodyguard grasped Mickey's cock with one hand but brought the other around to his ass, he squeezed his soft cheek, Mickey moaned lowly against his skin.</p><p>"Did you ever rim someone?", he whispered.<br/>
"Yes"<br/>
"Are you good at it?"<br/>
"Never had any complaints."</p><p>Mickey took a step away from him and crawled on the bed, he lay down on his stomach, his ass beautifully on display, he looked over his shoulder at Gallagher.<br/>
"Mickey says, eat me out."</p><p>Gallagher grinned at him and got behind him, "This is my new favourite version of this game", he mumbled.</p><p>Gallagher lay down behind him on the ridiculously big bed, he put his two warm hands on Mickey's ass and spread his cheeks. He dug his fingertips into Mickey's pale skin and teasingly left a kiss on his right cheek, he let his tongue trail over his skin until he got to his hole. He circled his hole with his tongue, drawing a low moan from Mickey. The bodyguard spat on him and used his tongue to push his spit into the man. He licked around his hole, flicked his tongue over it and then pushed it in a bit. Mickey moaned and pushed his ass back against his bodyguard's face.</p><p>Gallagher smirked and flicked his tongue against his hole over and over again while massaging his ass cheeks with his hands.</p><p>Eventually the bodyguard coated one of his fingers in spit and pushed it into Mickey.</p><p>Mickey dug his fingernails into the pillow he was lying on and moaned. The ginger pushed his boxer shorts from his own legs and started stroking his cock while licking across Mickey's hole and fingering him.</p><p>The ginger eventually added a second finger, thrusting in in and out of Mickey's hole, the Milkovich pressed his face into his pillow. He pulled the fingers back out again and put his tongue back to work, eating him out. He switched back to his fingers and playfully bit down on Mickey's ass.</p><p>Mickey moaned and panted.<br/>
"Fuck", he groaned, "Fuck me, Gallagher", he moaned.</p><p>The bodyguard kept fingering him, Mickey looked over his shoulder to the redhead.<br/>
He was fingering Mickey while jerking himself off with his other hand, he looked up at Mickey, they locked eyes again.</p><p>"Come up here, fuck me, are you deaf?"<br/>
The redhead stopped stroking himself, he planted a kiss on Mickey's cheek and then spanked it, drawing another moan from the Milkovich. He crawled up to Mickey, his fingers still going in and out of him.</p><p>"Fuck me", Mickey repeated breathlessly.<br/>
"You didn't say <em>Mickey says</em>.", Gallagher reminded him, he pulled his fingers out and let his cock rub against Mickey's ass.<br/>
"Forget the fucking game, you won, this is your prize", he whispered and grinded his ass up against him.</p><p>"Hmm, best prize I've ever won", he grinned and kissed Mickey's shoulder, "Lube?"<br/>
Mickey leaned over to his nightstand and opened one of his drawers, he pulled a bottle of lube out and handed it to the ginger.</p><p>The bodyguard coated his dick in lube and lost no time in pushing into Mickey, the impatience finally taking over. Mickey moaned deeply. Gallagher stilled when his whole cock was up Mickey's ass, he leaned over the smaller man and kissed the back of his neck. He heard Mickey's quick breathing, the small noises of impatience and approval.</p><p>The bodyguard rubbed over Mickey's back with his warm hands. "Okay?", he asked lowly.<br/>
"Yes, fucking move, Gallagher, I can take it."<br/>
The redhead grinned and then pulled his cock back out to the tip and thrusted back in, he started with long, slow strokes, hard thrusts that made Mickey's body jerk up on the bed slightly.</p><p>Mickey grabbed the pillow tightly, eventually even the smallest sign of discomfort was gone, and Gallagher picked up his pace, he thrusted in and out of him quicker, moaning into Mickey's shoulder, kissing his hot skin.</p><p>The bodyguard lay flat on top of Mickey, fucking into him hard, so Mickey's body jumped up underneath him, causing his cock to rub against the sheets.</p><p>"Fuck Mickey", he panted against his skin, dragged his lips over his skin up his neck, "You're so tight, your ass is fucking perfect", he whispered into his ear and placed a kiss underneath it.</p><p>Mickey moaned in response, he moved his hips up and down, meeting Gallagher's thrusts and rubbing himself against the mattress. Gallagher knew he was close, he had no feeling for time, but he felt like this had been too short to be over already and he wanted Mickey to come with him, but with the little friction through the sheets he probably wasn't as far as the bodyguard.</p><p>He suddenly pulled out of Mickey, before the Milkovich could protest, the ginger had already turned him around on his back and slammed his cock back inside of him, causing Mickey to throw his head back and moan loudly.</p><p>Gallagher pushed his hand against Mickey's mouth.<br/>
"Not so loud", he smirked. He pulled out again and pushed back in, Mickey's eyes rolled back slightly, he closed his eyes while Gallagher fucked into him in the fast pace again. The Milkovich tried to keep his noise down as good as he could.</p><p>Gallagher wrapped his hand around Mickey's cock in the meantime, earning a gasp and moan from Mickey.<br/>
The Bodyguard smirked and started jerking Mickey off in synch to his thrusts. He sat between Mickey's legs, his other hand wandered up Mickey's body to his nipple, which he slightly pinched, getting another approving reaction from him.</p><p>Mickey opened his eyes up again and looked at the bodyguard fucking into him hard. Letting his bodyguards blow him was a common thing for Mickey but it's been a long time since he had been fucked this good.</p><p>"I'm coming", he panted. The ginger gave a small nod, he was close too, he kept thrusting in and out of him in his fast pace and jerked Mickey off until the Milkovich came over his hand.</p><p>The bodyguard put both his hands on Mickey's thighs and continued to fuck into him in a fast pace, getting weak moans out of the Milkovich in return, when he almost came, he pulled out of him and jerked his dick in quick strokes until he came on Mickey's body, his cum hitting the pale skin of the smaller man. Mickey grinned up at him.</p><p>Gallagher panted heavily, he sat back on his legs and ran his hand over Mickey's leg.</p><p>"You're taking initiative", Mickey said, "I like that"<br/>
"You like bossing me around more", Gallagher smirked.<br/>
"True", Mickey shrugged and smiled, "Now go before someone notices you're missing, I clean up this mess."</p><p>Gallagher nodded and looked his body up from his legs to his face, he stopped at his lips and his eyes and just looked at him for a moment, admired him.</p><p>"Now, Gallagher", Mickey smirked and put his foot against the ginger's shoulder gently pushing him back.</p><p>Gallagher nodded, got up, took a tissue from the nightstand to clean his hand off and then took his clothes. When he left the room, Mickey was still lying nakedly in his bed, watching him.</p><p>"Good night Gallagher", he said before he opened the door, he turned back around to Mickey.<br/>
"Good night, Mickey."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. The World is ugly</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>These are the eyes and the lies of the taken<br/>These are their hearts but their hearts don't beat like ours<br/>They burn 'cause they are all afraid<br/>For every one of us, there's an army of them<br/>But you'll never fight alone<br/>'Cause I wanted you to know<br/>That the world is ugly<br/>But you're beautiful to me</p><p>-The World is ugly by My Chemical Romance</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gallagher and Mickey continued fucking around. May it be the occasional blowjob or a good fuck on the couch or with Mickey bend over the bed, Gallagher fucking him from behind while kneeling on the carpet.</p><p>A few weeks after they played <em>Mickey says</em> for the first time, Gallagher came into the room to find Mickey high as kite.</p><p>The Milkovich kid lay on his couch smoking a joint, some cocaine lay next to him on the couch table, all pretty normal.</p><p>"Hey", the bodyguard said, Mickey grinned at him.<br/>
"There you are Gallagher"<br/>
"You didn't call me in, even though you said you would today... just wanted to check if you died on an overdose yet."</p><p>Mickey chuckled, "Nah, you're not getting rid of me that easy, come here. Just forgot to call you"<br/>
"How high are you right now?", the ginger asked when Mickey held out the joint to him and he shook his head. He sat down the couch and Mickey rested his feet on his legs.</p><p>"Very. I'm the son of a drug lord, Gallagher, am always fucking high"<br/>
"Just because your dad makes money with drugs doesn't mean that you have to take them all the time"<br/>
"Oh yeah it does... if I'd have to listen to him talking while sober, I'd have to shoot him."</p><p>"Why?"<br/>
"Because he is a homophobic piece of Nazi shit?", Mickey looked down at his hands, "Always ranting about faggots and killing. You know, one time he killed a dude because he found out he was gay, told everyone he was a rat, but the only crime he committed was sucking a cock."</p><p>"Your cock?", Ian asked, Mickey made a pause.<br/>
"Yes", Mickey mumbled eventually and looked at him, "He worked for us and I wanted him and he wanted me so I let him suck my dick a couple of times. Bottom line - he had a boyfriend, and someone found out and that got him killed."</p><p>Gallagher rubbed Mickeys leg.<br/>
"Growing up with a father like that must be awful."<br/>
"It's hell", Mickey shrugged, "Hence the drugs. Could be worse though. I gotta keep my secrets and that's it. Before your fast ass came along, I always ran away from the security to go to gay clubs."</p><p>"Really? I heard you came back roughed up a few times, they think you're in some underground fight club or some shit."<br/>
Mickey shook his head, "assholes exist everywhere that's all", he smirked, "Fuck it, right?"</p><p>"Were you ever in a relationship with a guy?"<br/>
"Whoa", Mickey chuckled, "Getting pretty personal now, are we?"<br/>
"We fuck several times a week but asking about ex boyfriends is too personal?"<br/>
Mickey shrugged, "I don't even know your first name, man"<br/>
"You know my first name!", He insisted.<br/>
"Nah, really don't"</p><p>"It's Ian."<br/>
Mickey crooked his head, "Ian", he said as if to test the name, "okay, approved."<br/>
"Approved?", Ian asked, "What if my name would have been Bert, I would have had to change my name?"<br/>
"Yes, obviously."</p><p>They looked at each other and laughed.</p><p>"So, did you ever had a boyfriend?", Ian asked again.<br/>
"No", Mickey shrugged, "Never even kissed a guy on the mouth."<br/>
"Really?", Ian asked with raised eyebrows, "Why?... Fuck I just realised we never kissed while fucking... how is that even possible?"</p><p>"You obviously love hearing me moan and say your name that's how. And apart from that, just never came up. All the secrets and shit, I usually had time for blowjobs and then it's time to go home. You know?"</p><p>"Mhm", Ian looked at him, "Did you kiss women?"<br/>
Mickey nodded and pulled a face, "For show only. But still. Never got the hang of it though. Why are people so obsessed with kissing? Just fucking lips pressed on lips? They act like it's so much more than lips pressed on anything else."</p><p>Ian smiled, "Come here"<br/>
Mickey looked at him confused, they were already pretty close on the couch.<br/>
"Sit up, Mick, come here"</p><p>"You are aware that I'm still <em>your</em> boss, right?", Mickey said while sitting up and crawling to Ian. The Gallagher pulled him on his lap.<br/>
"You like being dominated, sometimes", Ian reminded him, their faces were close, he wrapped his arms around Mickeys body.</p><p>Mickey shrugged, he wrapped his hands around Ian's neck.</p><p>They looked each other in the eyes, while Ian let his hands roam over Mickeys back to his shoulders.</p><p>Mickey was breathing a bit heavier, anticipating Ian's next move. He seemed a little bit nervous what was insanely cute to Ian.</p><p>Ian had one arm on Mickeys shoulder, curling up into his hair and pulling him slightly closer.</p><p>"I can't believe no man ever got to kiss these lips", Ian whispered, his other hand was now on his cheek.</p><p>Mickey was almost trembling with tension on him.</p><p>"Can I kiss you?", Ian whispered, their lips were only one movement forwards away.</p><p>"Yes", Mickey breathed.</p><p>Ian smiled and finally pushed his lips against Mickeys.</p><p>Mickey had kissed women before, but this was different.</p><p>Ian's lips on his wasn't just skin on skin, he felt a thousand things running through him at one: excitement, lust, attraction, comfort, a strange sensation of safety.</p><p>Ian pulled back again and looked at the man.<br/>
"First", he whispered and smirked smugly.</p><p>Mickey scoffed, "Don't ruin it Gallagher", Mickey whispered and leaned to him to kiss him again, not as sweet an innocent as before.</p><p>Ian chuckled against Mickeys lips, they moved their lips against each other, Mickey started unbuttoning Ian's shirt and Ian dropped his hands to Mickeys ass.</p><p>Their tongues were clashing together while Ian hastily pulled off his jacket and the shirt and undid Mickeys belt.</p><p>They had to separate to take Mickeys shirt off. Mickey kissed him again, running his hands through his red hair.</p><p>Ian pushed his hands underneath Mickeys thighs and suddenly stood up from the couch.</p><p>Mickey automatically wrapped his legs around his hips.<br/>
"What are you doing?", he chuckled breathlessly.<br/>
"I keep impressing you, what else?"</p><p>Mickey grinned, he pushed their bodies closer together and kissed him again while Ian carried Mickey over to the bed. He lowered him on the mattress, leaned over him.</p><p>Mickey pushed him up, so Ian was standing in front of the bed, he sat up himself, Ian stood between his legs. The young Milkovich quickly opened Ian's pants and pushed them down together with his boxers, Ian ran his hand through Mickey's black hair.</p><p>Mickey had Ian's semi-hard dick in front of him. Many guys had touched him before, had sucked and jerked him off. But he rarely ever did so much as touch the other men's cocks.</p><p>Mickey grasped Ian's cock with one hand and licked over his top lip. Ian's big hands were running through his black hair, pushing his head down to his dick ever so slightly.</p><p>Mickey swirled his tongue around Ian's tip, earning a low moan from the ginger. Mickey flicked his tongue over the slit, and started to lick his shaft up and down, feeling Ian's dick getting harder in his hand. The Ginger watched him.</p><p>Mickey wrapped his lips around his tip and took his dick into his mouth. He bobbed his head, reaching further down every time. Ian moaned lowly.<br/>
He pulled back a bit, licked up his length and took him back in.</p><p>Ian groaned in response.<br/>
He ran his hands through Mickeys black hair, tugging on the roots the way Mickey liked it.</p><p>Mickey swirled his tongue around his dick, swallowing around him and jerking off the part he hadn't down his throat yet. He hollowed his cheeks around him and bobbed his head up and down, letting Mickey's cock slide past his slips and back out.</p><p>Ian watched the smaller man blowing him until he had to push him away slightly, he panted heavily, "You gonna make me come if you keep it up", he whispered grinning and pushed Mickey back on the bed, "But I want to come inside of that pretty ass"</p><p>Mickey smirked at him, he scooted up on the bed and watched Ian crawl up to him until he could kiss him again.</p><p>Ian reached for the lube and coated his fingers in it, Mickey eagerly lifted his ass a bit, he rested his leg on Ian's shoulder. The Gallagher reached down and rubbed with his finger over his hole.</p><p>Ian pushed his finger into Mickey, who moaned into Ian's mouth. Ian grinned and left kisses on Mickey's face, down his cheek to his neck, while fingering him.</p><p>Mickey threated his fingers through Ian's hair. "Fuck me", Mickey panted, "Ian", and he decided that he liked saying his name during sex and Ian decided, he loved hearing Mickey crying out his name like this.</p><p>"Patience is a virtue, Mickey", Ian whispered.<br/>
"Do I look like a goody-goody person to you?"<br/>
"No, but it's fun to drive you crazy for me."<br/>
"Fuck you", Mickey panted grinning.</p><p>Ian kissed him again, "You like me fingering you though, otherwise you wouldn't be so out of breath", he whispered.<br/>
"Yes, your fucking fingers are longer than some of the dicks I had", Mickey panted, "But I want your dick though"<br/>
"I know you do", Ian whispered, he was thrusting three fingers in and out of the man by now.</p><p>Ian pulled his fingers out, lubed his dick up and slowly pushed into Mickey.<br/>
Mickey moaned louder, Ian let his lips hover over Mickey's face, occasionally leaving a small kiss. "Say my name", he whispered.<br/>
Mickey panted heavily, "Ian", he moaned lowly. Ian kissed his lips again, he pushed Mickey's leg down from his shoulder, so Mickey could wrap his legs around his hips. Ian started thrusting into Mickey, drawing low moans from the man.</p><p>Ian picked up his pace and kissed down his cheek to his neck again. Mickey moaned louder and whispered Ian's name. The Gallagher's lips reached his chest and he flicked his tongue over Mickey's nipple, Mickey tugged on Ian's hair lightly.</p><p>Mickey reached down and started jerking himself off again, while Ian came back up and kissed him.</p><p>"Shh", he made between his kisses and got slower in his movements, "If you continue to be this loud, they'll catch us."<br/>
"Who is supposed to catch us? No one's even walking by this door around this time"<br/>
"If that's the case, be louder", Ian whispered.<br/>
"You got a fucking noise kink now, Gallagher?"<br/>
"I just enjoy hearing you being pleasured", he said and picked up his pace again.</p><p>Mickey had never sex with kissing before but right now he barely wanted Ian's lips to leave his. Ian seemed to have the goal to kiss his whole body, and Mickey wouldn't stop him from trying.</p><p>"I'm coming", Mickey moaned, "Don't stop."<br/>
Ian was kissing his neck again, moaning against his skin.</p><p>Ian sucked on the skin of his neck slightly and pinched nipple, Mickey came over his hand on his stomach.</p><p>"Fuck", Mickey panted, "No marks, you idiot"</p><p>Ian hid his face in the crook of his neck and kept pounding into him.<br/>
Mickey moaned lowly into his ear.</p><p>Ian came inside of Mickey this time, instead of pulling out last minute. Mickey clenched around him, panting against Ian's hot skin. The Gallagher pulled him into a hungry kiss again while riding out his orgasm inside of him.</p><p>Ian eventually pulled out and lay down next to Mickey. </p><p>Ian touched the small mark he left on Mickey's neck, "You can barely see it", he whispered, "So don't freak out about it."<br/>
Mickey rolled his eyes and Ian kissed his cheek, making Mickey smile. </p><p>"You fucked me so hard I won't be able to sit all day tomorrow", Mickey complained and rolled on his stomach, he reached for the nightstand. Ian frowned while watching the man getting a paper out of a hidden space in the nightstand, it looked like a ripped out page from a notebook. </p><p>Ian scooted closer and lay on his stomach next to him, too. He looked at the paper.</p><p>
  <strong> <em>First Kiss: </em> </strong>
</p><p><strong> <em>First BJ from:</em> </strong> <em> Dimitri Kozhanov </em></p><p>
  <strong> <em>First BJ to:</em> </strong>
</p><p><strong> <em>First HandyJ from:</em> </strong> <em> Dimitri Kozhanov </em></p><p><strong> <em>First HandyJ to:</em> </strong> <em> Zoran Lysenko </em></p><p><strong> <em>First Assfuck Bottom for:</em> </strong> <em> Zoran Lysenko </em></p><p><strong> <em>First Assfuck top for:</em> </strong> <em> Angus Field</em></p><p><strong> <em>First Crush:</em> </strong> <em> Dimitri Kozhanov </em></p><p><strong> <em>First Boyfriend:</em> </strong> <em> who the fuck am I kidding?!</em></p><p>
  <strong> <em>Best dick:</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Best fuck:</em> </strong>
</p><p>"You have a List with your firsts?", Ian chuckled.<br/>
"Yeah", Mickey grabbed a pen from the nightstand, "One day, my dad's gonna make me marry some chick to get him some grandsons and then I will at least have some names I can remember while I have to fuck her."</p><p><strong> <em>First Kiss:</em> </strong> <em> Ian Galager </em></p><p><strong> <em>First BJ to:</em> </strong> <em> Ian Galager</em></p><p>"That was your first blowjob?", Ian asked, "No way, it was way too good for that."<br/>
Mickey smirked, "First time giving one."<br/>
Ian shook his head and laughed, "That settles it: You're a natural bottom."<br/>
"Fuck you", Mickey chuckled.</p><p>"So, who is Angus Field and why the hell did you top him?"<br/>
"Because he begged me to top him. I didn't like it very much. So, after that I made sure he wasn't my bodyguard anymore."<br/>
"You had him fired because you didn't like fucking him in the ass?"<br/>
"Not quite", Mickey shook his head, "He's your boss."<br/>
Ian looked at him with wide eyes, "You mean Angus Field as in Mr. Field, who is pretty much your dad's right hand?"<br/>
"Yep, big ol' queer. He only became my dad's right hand because I found out former head of security was a rat, I let Angus be the hero to expose him and this way he got promoted and got all my dad's unshared trust. In return he keeps quiet about my secrets and deletes certain things from the security cameras."</p><p>Ian chuckled, "You also have to write my name next to best dick and best fuck."<br/>
"Don't be so sure about that, Gallagher. Dimitri's dick was great too."<br/>
"Oh yeah? Better than mine though?"<br/>
"I don't know, never got fucked by him."<br/>
Ian looked at the paper again, Mickey's smile dropped from his face and he folded the paper again.<br/>
"He was your first crush."<br/>
"Yeah, I was young", he shook his head, "It doesn't matter."<br/>
"Did you love him?", Ian asked.</p><p>Mickey shook his head, "He made me cum as often as possible and he was hot, that's about it. We rarely ever talked. Then dad killed him, so never mind."<br/>
Ian looked at him for a moment, "He was the guy you told me about earlier."<br/>
Mickey nodded, then he looked at him, "You remind me of him, a little bit. Fucking unafraid, both of you. You know what you want, and you act accordingly. Maybe also a bit too reckless for your own good.", then he smiled, "And a face full of freckles."</p><p>Ian smiled at him, he couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to Dimitri and Mickey than the Milkovich was willing to tell him, so he decided to change the topic.</p><p>"You misspelled my last name."<br/>
"No I didn't", Mickey unfolded the paper again.<br/>
Ian chuckled, "It's written with two l's."<br/>
"No it's fucking not, I don't allow that!"</p><p>Ian laughed and kissed his shoulder, "If you allow that or not doesn't change the spelling of my name."<br/>
"You want to bet? I bet I can make Angus rewrite all your names in your forms and shit."<br/>
"Please don't. Look at it, it doesn't say Gallagher, it says Gaylayger"<br/>
"Why are you complaining, there couldn't possibly be a more fitting name for you!"<br/>
Ian Laughed and kissed him again, he pulled him on top of him.</p><p>They separated and looked each other in the eyes for a moment, "I'll put your name to best dick", Mickey whispered, Ian smiled and pecked his lips again, "Now get up, time to go."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. I never told you what I do for a Living</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Stay out of the light<br/>Or the photograph that I gave you<br/>You can say a prayer if you need to<br/>Or just get in line and I'll grieve you<br/>Can I meet you, alone<br/>Another night and I'll see you<br/>Another night and I'll be you<br/>Some other way to continue<br/>To hide my face </p><p>- I never told you what I did for a living by My Chemical Romance</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A few weeks later.</p><p>Ian watched Mickey doing some coke and didn't dare to comment on it. "You're staring at me", Mickey grinned while smoking a cigarette.<br/>
"I'm just making sure you don't die of an overdose.", Ian said, standing between the door and the couch.</p><p>Mickey laughed, "You're silly. Silly Gallagher come here.", Mickey tabbed his foot on the other edge of the couch, Ian sat down, and Mickey held the cigarette out to him, Ian shook his head. Mickey scooted over to him, so he sat on his knees next to him, "Just a cigarette, no drugs, come on, as if you never smoked before."<br/>
"I try to stop.", he looked him in the eyes.<br/>
"Good, consider this your last hit, then", Mickey said lowly and bit his bottom lip, he brought his cigarette up to Ian's lips.</p><p>The Gallagher leaned to him and took a drag from the cigarette while maintaining eye contact with Mickey. He inhaled and then blew out the smoke, Mickey watched him, nodding slightly and finally kissing him deeply. Ian sneaked his arm around Mickey's waist and Mickey crawled into Ian's lap, sitting on him on the couch.</p><p>"Fuck babe", Ian whispered, "You're so hot"<br/>
Mickey took a drag of the cigarette again and blew the smoke out towards the ceiling, "Don't call me babe, freckles"<br/>
"Why not?"<br/>
"Cos I'm not your babe", he kissed him again, playfully, took his lip between his teeth, released it again and grinned at him, "I want to play a game"</p><p>"Mickey says?"<br/>
"Different game"<br/>
"Okay, what game?"<br/>
"Truth and Dare. But it's unfair that you're not high."<br/>
"Don't you mean truth or dare?"<br/>
"No", Mickey shook his head, "Truth and Dare. You always gotta choose one in turns. Truth then dare. Truth: I get to ask a question and you have to answer truthfully. Dare: I dare you to take a piece of clothing off and you gotta."</p><p>"What if I don't want to answer a question? Do I have to take a shot or something?"<br/>
"You have to do a line", Mickey pointed his head to the drugs on his couch table.<br/>
"I'm not doing coke, Mick"<br/>
"Then you have to answer every question I suppose", Mickey said and licked over his lips, "I want to get high with you, I bet it would be fucking hot, having sex with you on a few drugs."</p><p>Ian shook his head, "You can get high and I will look after you, can't look after you if I get high too, right?"<br/>
Mickey looked down at him and smiled, "Right. Safekeeper.", he got down from him and lay on the couch again, his legs over Ian's legs.<br/>
"If you don't want to answer a question, I put one piece of clothing back on."</p><p>Ian smiled and rubbed Mickey's leg, "Okay, I'm game. Who starts?"<br/>
"I'm the boss, so I start. You choose, Truth or Dare?"<br/>
Ian put one arm on the backrest of the couch, "Dare."<br/>
"Take off your jacket. God knows why you always have to wear that fucking suit."<br/>
"It's kinda the uniform for bodyguards", Ian took his jacket off, "Now my turn?"</p><p>Mickey nodded.<br/>
"Truth or Dare?"<br/>
"Truth"<br/>
"Why do you want to play this game?"<br/>
"Because I like seeing you naked", Mickey grinned, "And I like knowing shit about people. Now, Truth: Why do you move like a soldier?"</p><p>Ian raised his eyebrows, "Do I?"<br/>
"Yes, it's the first thing I noticed about you. Move like military."<br/>
Ian smiled, "I always wanted to be a soldier growing up. Did ROTC and shit."<br/>
"Why didn't you become a soldier then?"<br/>
"I'm not entirely familiar with the rules, but I think you can only ask one question and it's my turn."</p><p>Mickey rolled his eyes.<br/>
"I dare you to take your shirt off."<br/>
Mickey gave him the cigarette to hold and took his shirt off, "Seems a bit unfair to me", he said, "I dare you to take your shirt off."</p><p>Ian started unbuttoning his shirt, "Actually, no, I'll do that", Mickey said, stubbed the cigarette out and sat on Ian's lap again, he started unbuttoning the shirt slowly, he pushed the shirt from Ian's shoulders and ran his hands down his pale body and the tattoo of an eagle with a gun on his ribs.<br/>
"Is there more to the story with you and this Dimitri?", Ian asked, Mickey stopped his hands and took them back from Ian's body.</p><p>He bit his lip, "No."<br/>
"You gotta say the truth Mickey, otherwise the game doesn't have a point."<br/>
"There's nothing more to it than what I told you. He worked for us, I wanted him, he wanted me, he sucked me off, jerked me off a couple of times. Then my dad found out that he was gay and had him killed."</p><p>"You had feelings for him?"<br/>
"Only one question, Gallagher.", Mickey said and got down from him, sitting back on his side of the couch, "Why didn't you become a soldier?"<br/>
"I was needed home. Couldn't leave my family. Let me take your jeans off."</p><p>Ian unbuttoned Mickey's jeans and pulled them down from the Milkovich, running his hands up and down his naked legs.</p><p>"Take your pants off", Mickey said, "Slowly."<br/>
Ian got up and slowly opened his pants up and pushed them down. Mickey watched him with a smug smile, "Yeah, that's good", he whispered.</p><p>Ian stood in front of him half naked, looking down at the equally naked man on the couch, and yet decided to ask: "Did you have feeling for him? Dimitri?"<br/>
Mickey's smile fell, "I told you we barely ever talked...", he lit up a new cigarette.<br/>
Ian took his shirt from the couch and put it back on.<br/>
"The fuck are you doing?"<br/>
"You're not being honest."</p><p>Mickey sighed, "Okay, fuck's sake, take that thing off and sit down, fucking prick.", after Ian sat down again, Mickey was close to change his mind, "I had feelings for Dimitri. Hard fucking feelings, teenage-boy-first-love feelings. Then his boyfriend found out about us and snitched to my dad and he killed him. Happy?"</p><p>Ian looked at him, "No", he said, "Not happy, I'm glad you told me though. Could you ever talk to someone about it?"<br/>
Mickey looked away from him, "It's my turn Gallagher.", he said, "Why are you here?"</p><p>"Sorry?"<br/>
"You're gay, you wanted to join the military, why on earth did you end up here?"<br/>
Ian bit his lips and looked at Mickey's legs, "It's my brother", he said, "His name is Carl. He works for your father, started off as a teenager, now runs drugs on bigger scales. My siblings worry about him, he didn't check in with us for a few months, said he would run some drugs over the border and that's the last thing we heard from him."</p><p>"You're here to find him.", Mickey said.<br/>
"Yes."<br/>
Mickey started smiling again, "You're a good person."<br/>
"Thanks"<br/>
"I'm not meeting a lot of good people in my life. I don't think I know one good person besides you."</p><p>"I think you're a good person.", Ian said sincerely.<br/>
Mickey shook his head, "I blackmailed you into blowing me, forgot that? Done it with lots of bodyguards before you too. I'm not a good person", he took a drag from his cigarette.<br/>
"I think you are. You have potential to be a good person, at least. More than most people. I think, in your heart, you're a good person."</p><p>Mickey shook his head, "The boy I loved got killed because of me, doesn't sound like a good person now, does it?"<br/>
"I thought you didn't love him."<br/>
"I might have, one day... with more time."</p><p>Ian smiled and leaned over to him and kissed his forehead.<br/>
"You might be the single best man I know, Mickey Milkovich.", he whispered and started kissing him slowly.</p><p>Mickey kissed him back, slowly, deep in memories, he was sad. He hadn't thought about Dimitri this much in years, didn't regret as much as he did now. But Ian was able to make him happier, and if even just the tiniest bit, by reminding him of Dimitri just enough to make it better.</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>That night they shared their stories was the first time Ian spent the night in Mickey's room, in his bed. They had slow, passionate sex and Mickey held on to him at night, not letting him go.</p><p>In the morning, Ian woke up with Mickey in his arms.</p><p>He was woken up by the alarm on his phone going off somewhere in the room. Mickey stirred in his sleep and turned around in Ian's arms, looking for more body contact and warmth.</p><p>Ian smiled at him and carefully pushed the man away, so he could get up and silence his phone again.</p><p>He looked back to the ridiculously big bed where Mickey lay, he looked peaceful, calm... cute.</p><p>Ian sighed while putting his suit back on, he had an hour before he had to be Mickey's bodyguard again.</p><p>"Where are you going?", a low voice came from the bed.<br/>
Ian smiled and went back to him, "Back to reality, Mickey. Work."<br/>
"Why? I won't get up for three more hours, why should you?"</p><p>"I don't know, babe"<br/>
Mickey smiled, "Don't call me babe, Army."<br/>
Ian grinned and kissed his forehead, "Go back to sleep."</p><p>Ian quietly left the room. He closed the door behind him, turned around and froze immediately.</p><p>In front of him stood Iggy Milkovich, Mickey's older brother, the second of the four children.</p><p>"Mr Milkovich, Sir", Ian quickly stood up straight, his heartbeat went out of control, panic started to spread through his body.</p><p>"Mr Gallagher, is it?"<br/>
"Yes, Sir", he said nervously.<br/>
"What were you doing in my brother's room at this hour? ... with a badly buttoned up shirt?", he observed while looking Ian up and down, the low hanging pants, the shirt being wrong buttoned and hanging out of the pants.</p><p>"I'm sorry, Sir, I was just...", he cleared his throat, "Your brother got high last night and I spent the night to...", he scratched the back of his head, "Make sure he is okay and doesn't overdose... or has a bad trip. I stayed on the couch after he allowed it."</p><p>Iggy looked at him, contemplating if he should believe him.<br/>
"Well, thanks, Mr Gallagher, he needs someone to look out for him. I heard, he hadn't been able to run away from you yet."<br/>
"That's correct, Sir."<br/>
"Good. Make sure it stays this way. We don't know where he is going, but he often comes back beaten up."<br/>
"I will do my best to keep him from being beaten up, Sir."<br/>
"Okay, that's your job. Be the first one to do it right, then I won't think further about you sleeping in my brother's room."<br/>
"O-Okay, Sir."</p><p>Iggy nodded and then left. Ian leaned against a wall and sighed deeply. He looked up at a corner where one of the security cameras hang. He wondered, if Angus Field sat behind those cameras right now, saw him coming out of Mickey's room and knew what they had been doing.</p><p>He shook the thought and quickly left the hallway. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. The Light behind your eyes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So long to all of my friends<br/>Every one of them met tragic ends<br/>With every passing day<br/>I'd be lying if I didn't say<br/>That I miss them all tonight<br/>And if they only knew what I would say<br/>If I could be with you tonight<br/>I would sing you to sleep </p><p>- The Light behind your eyes by My Chemical Romance</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>One Month Later</p><p>Mickey, Iggy, Collin and Terry sat in the TV room, Mandy had asked them here because she wanted to introduce someone.</p><p>While the other three men were left in the dark, Mickey already knew all about it. Mandy had a new boyfriend. She had told him all about him since she had a crush on him until they got together. Now she had the, rather difficult, task of gaining their father's approval for her boyfriend.</p><p>"Do you know what this shit is about, Mickey", Terry asked annoyed.<br/>
"I think Mandy wants to tell us herself, Dad."<br/>
"So, you do know something, tell me so I don't have to sit through your sister's dramatic entry."<br/>
"I had to promise her not to, dad, it seemed really important to her", Mickey mumbled, not daring to look at his father.</p><p>Luckily, Mandy finally entered the room.</p><p>"Good, you're all here.", she beamed, a bright grin was on her face, "I want you to meet my new boyfriend."<br/>
"Yeah, get the fuck on with it Mands, I don't get why we have to sit through this, too. You need dad's opinion, not ours.", Collin complained.<br/>
"You need to meet him, he is my boyfriend. So, now shut up.", she left the room quickly and came back with a tall, handsome man. He had dark hair and dark eyes, ripped body, his shirt stretched over his tight muscles.</p><p>"Babe, this are my brothers Mickey, Iggy and Collin and my dad, Terry Milkovich. Dad, this is my boyfriend, Tom Anderson.", she smiled and leaned against Tom.<br/>
Tom tried to look relaxed, but Mickey and his brothers could tell that he was scared shitless.</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>Mickey lay on his bed, leaned against the headboard in a bunch of pillows, he had collected from everywhere in his room.</p><p>He was looking at his door, thinking about Ian and Dimitri and Mandy... he wasn't sure if he wanted to see Ian tonight.</p><p>Someone knocked on his door.<br/>
"What?"<br/>
The door opened slowly, and Ian appeared, "Hey, sorry, I just wanted to ask... if you're okay. You refused to go to dinner and everything..."</p><p>Mickey shrugged.<br/>
"Do you want me to go?"<br/>
Mickey paused and eventually shook his head, so Ian came in and came to the bed. He took his suit jacket off an sat on the bed next to Mickey.</p><p>"You okay?", Ian asked again.<br/>
"Yeah, I just wasn't hungry earlier."</p><p>"You seem sad"<br/>
Mickey shrugged, "I'm just sober.", he said, "Looks the same on me."<br/>
"Completely sober?"<br/>
"Yeah. Not even weed or a beer today. You've never seen me like this, trust me."</p><p>Ian looked at him mildly concerned, even though he was glad that Mickey was sober for a change.<br/>
"I heard Mandy's got a new boyfriend."</p><p>"Yeah... Tom.", Mickey said licked his lips, and chuckled, "They just... randomly fell in love. She told me how it happened, it was so random, you know? Did you ever do that? Randomly fall in love? Like you meet someone, and you like them, sure, but you never think there'd be feelings and you spent time together and stuff and just... fall in love? That's how Mandy told me, it's so random.", he sighed, "I think I want that. To randomly fall in love with someone. I'd like that... but I will never get that chance and that's fucking unfair."</p><p>"Why do you think you could never fall in love?"<br/>
Mickey shook his head, "Even if, I could never do something about it. I have to keep this a secret forever. And the last time I had a crush on someone he got killed.", he looked at Ian, "Did you ever randomly fall in love?"</p><p>Ian looked at him and bit his bottom lip, "Hm", he made and looked at his feet, "I think so, yeah. When I met him, I never thought I'd have feelings for him or that anything would ever happen with him and me, you know? But over time I got to know him better, we spent time together and... when you fall in love it sometimes happens so slowly that you don't notice it until it suddenly hits you like 'bam' and you realise you're head over heels."</p><p>Mickey looked at him, "Are you together with him?"<br/>
Ian shook his head, "If I'd have a boyfriend, I wouldn't sleep with you, Mickey. I don't think I will ever get together with him... I don't know if he has or will have any feelings for me, ever."</p><p>Mickey nodded, "You deserve a random love, Ian", Mickey said to him, looking at him sincerely.<br/>
Ian smiled, "You deserve one too, Mickey. Believe it or not."<br/>
Mickey shrugged.</p><p>Ian put an arm around Mickey an pulled him to him, he kissed his forehead.<br/>
"I like Sober-Mickey."<br/>
"I don't", Mickey whispered.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. This is how you remind me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is how you remind me of what I really am<br/>It's not like you to say sorry<br/>I was waiting on a different story<br/>This time I'm mistaken<br/>For handing you a heart worth breaking<br/>And I've been wrong<br/>I've been down<br/>Into the bottom of every bottle </p><p>- How you remind me by Nickleback</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A few days later Mickey wanted to go out in the evening. Before he had started blackmailing Ian, he had often gone to clubs and bars and then had tried to shake Ian and go to the gay clubs he actually had wanted to go to. This time he took him with him and made him wear normal clothes.</p><p>"You won't be able to escape me, Mickey, we both know that", Ian informed him while they walked down some streets.<br/>
"I know Gallagher, I'm taking you with me to my favourite club."<br/>
"Really?"<br/>
"Yeah", he led Ian to a parking lot, "You drive"<br/>
"Where the fuck is this club?"<br/>
"On the other side of the city.", Mickey shrugged and threw the car keys to him.</p><p>They got into the car and Mickey tipped the address of the club into his phone so it could lead Ian to a parking lot nearby.<br/>
"How do you expect us to get back home if we go to a club now and drink?"<br/>
"I guess one of us has to stay sober", Mickey shrugged, "Or we sleep in the car tonight, but I wouldn't recommend that in this neighbourhood.</p><p>They finally arrived and got out of the car. "Hidden Car in a hidden parking lot to another hidden parking lot to a hidden club, you really make some effort."<br/>
Mickey nodded, "I change club and car in an asynchronous rhythm, too. So, you won't get sober Mickey tonight, Gallagher, I don't make this effort for nothing."<br/>
"So, I have to stay sober?"<br/>
"I'm sure you can have a drink now, it's still early. But if you plan on fucking me on the toilet tonight, you shouldn't get wasted anyways, can't risk the whiskey dick."</p><p>"Who says I plan to do that?"<br/>
Mickey looked at him with raised eyebrows, "You sayin' you don't want this tonight?"<br/>
Ian looked him up and down and got a good look on his ass, he was wearing tight jeans and a black, tight top.<br/>
"No, I'm saying maybe I plan to fuck you right on the dance floor."</p><p>Mickey smirked at him, "Maybe I would even let you, you look fucking hot without the suit."<br/>
"You like the suit.", Ian smiled, "You sometimes make me keep on the tie while fucking you."<br/>
Mickey chuckled, "You look fucking hot with it."</p><p>They reached the club and soon enough had their first drinks and a shot or two down.<br/>
Mickey wasn't much of a dancer, usually he just sat around, had a drink and watched hot guys dancing, until someone bought him a drink and he ended up fucking someone in the bathroom.</p><p>But Ian forced him on the dancefloor.<br/>
"No, I'll stay here and watch you dance, Gallagher, bet that looks fucking hot."<br/>
"Forget it", Ian said and took his hand to pull him with him, "I'm your bodyguard, I have to stay close to you at all times."</p><p>Mickey chuckled and Ian started moving his body to the beat of the music, pressing their bodies as tightly as possible together. Mickey mirrored Ian's so called "dancing" which pretty quickly was just them grinding against each other.</p><p>Mickey kept doing shots between the songs and made out with Ian at the bar.</p><p>Eventually Ian got a phone call and had to stop kissing Mickey.<br/>
"You won't be able to hear anyone on the phone anyways" Mickey said close to his ear, "Just ignore it."</p><p>"Can't ignore it, it's my sister. I'll be right back, can I leave you alone for five minutes, babes?"<br/>
"Don't call me that, it'll make me want to run away."<br/>
"You secretly like it", Ian grinned at him.</p><p>The Gallagher got up and headed in the direction of the bathrooms.</p><p>Mickey checked him out while he walked away and then ordered another drink.</p><p>It didn't take long for someone taking the spot beside him and starting to flirt. Usually Mickey would be up for it, it would have been the moment he had been waiting for all evening, but today he didn't feel like hooking up with anyone besides Ian.</p><p>"Hey, handsome", the guy said, Mickey couldn't see much of his face due to the flickering lights creating deep shadows on his face, he had dark hair and an ugly nose, Mickey could tell, "I've been watching that sexy ass all night long. Would like to take it for a test drive"</p><p>Mickey pulled a face upon hearing this weird pick up line.<br/>
"If you've been watching all night, then you must have noticed that I already have someone throwing compliments my way for the night."</p><p>"But he's gone now"<br/>
"He's coming back in a minute"<br/>
"I wouldn't bet on that, every thirsty bottom queen has been all over him since you came in."<br/>
"So, you're saying that my ass is hot enough for you but not to hold him?", Mickey turned to the man.<br/>
"He's playing in another league than you and me, sweet cheeks, he will try taking as many twinks as possible tonight. Why be one of many for him if you can be mine for the whole night?"</p><p>"Oh yeah?", Mickey asked, he raised his fist and was about to punch the man in the face for insulting him like this, when a hand pulled his wrist back.</p><p>"What's going on?", Ian asked, the ginger Looked from Mickey to the other man, "Who are you?"</p><p>"This douchebag thinks I'm not hot enough to hold you for the whole night", Mickey growled.</p><p>Ian looked the douchebag up and down, " But you think you're attractive enough to even talk to him? Fuck off man"<br/>
Mickey smirked, "Yeah, tell him how hot I am"<br/>
"He's so fucking hot I'd rather fuck him the whole night than to get blown by every single queen in this club. Look around, every dude is jealous of me for being able to make out with him, including you. So, fuck off before I let him punch you."</p><p>The man finally left the bar and Ian pulled Mickey against his body and groped his ass.</p><p>"You should have let me punch him.", Mickey said.<br/>
"It's my job to make sure you don't do anything stupid that draws more attention to you than dry humping me on the dance floor, babe"</p><p>"I plan on doing much more than just dry humping. Now, restroom."<br/>
"Mick, you don't really want to fuck there, I just went there for a phone call and even for that it looked too filthy."<br/>
"But I'm horny", Mickey pushed him against the bar kissed his neck to whisper in his ear, "I want your cock in me, now, Gallagher. Or do I have to look for someone else to shove their dick up my ass?"</p><p>Ian sneaked his arms around Mickey and groped his ass.<br/>
"It's a fantastic ass", Ian said, "So fucking tight and perfect."<br/>
"Exactly, do you really want to miss out on that?"<br/>
"No, but I want to miss out on the ten diseases I get from just looking at that bathroom."<br/>
"This would be so much easier if I'd still blackmail you", Mickey sighed. Ian laughed.<br/>
"Come, have another drink, dance with me and I promise, I'll fuck you in the car. Sound good?"</p><p>Mickey pulled back and looked at him, "Alright, but you better fuck me good then, Gallagher."<br/>
"Don't I always?"<br/>
"Yeah you do", Mickey grinned and ordered two more shots.</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>Ian helped Mickey getting to the car, it was two or three o'clock in the morning, Mickey was wasted.<br/>
Ian got him to the car, Mickey pushed Ian against the blue vehicle immediately and kissed him, "Fuck me", he said breathlessly while unbuckling Ian's belt.<br/>
"Wait", Ian tried to catch Mickey's hands, but the Milkovich just laughed and kept undoing his pants, "Mick, wait, hey", he caught his wrists and held them up, "You're too drunk."</p><p>Mickey rolled his eyes, "Fuck it, you promised"<br/>
"Mick, I'm not gonna fuck you when you're barely able to stand.", Ian said calmly.<br/>
"Lie me down and take me, problem solved.", Mickey smirked and kissed him again.</p><p>Ian chuckled against his lips. He pushed him away from him again, "I'd love to fuck you, you know that, but you'd either pass out during it or puke on my dick. I bring you home and put you to bed."<br/>
"And then fuck me in the bed?"<br/>
"No", Ian grinned, "Come on, you had enough fun for one night."</p><p>Mickey wanted to disagree, but suddenly felt sick, quickly turned away, stumbled a few steps and threw up away from the car.</p><p>Ian only pulled a face for a second then he started laughing. He took off his flannel (he had another t-shirt underneath it) and walked up to Mickey, "You okay, Mick?"<br/>
"Sure, fine, fuck"<br/>
"Still in the mood to fuck?"</p><p>Mickey spit on the ground and stood up straight again, he stumbled slightly. Ian caught him and let him lean against him, he used his flannel to wipe over Mickey's mouth.<br/>
"Let's get you home, babe.", he mumbled. Mickey just groaned in response and clutched the flannel to his chest.</p><p>Ian put him in the car and drove them home slowly, so Mickey wouldn't get sick again. He helped Mickey out of the car and brought him home, Mickey leaned against him and almost fell over a few times.</p><p>Ian eventually made it to bring Mickey up to his room unseen by anyone. In Mickey's room he undressed the Milkovich and made him lie down, he tugged him in and kissed his cheek.</p><p>"Stay here", Mickey mumbled.<br/>
"I can't, I have a meeting with Mr Field in the morning."<br/>
Mickey looked up to him, "You remind me of Dimitri", he whispered, his voice was slightly slurred.</p><p>Ian raised his eyebrows and kneeled down next to the bed to look him in the eyes.<br/>
"He was a good person, too. Didn't deserve to die. He didn't even have anything to do with the drugs... he worked in the kitchen", his lips tugged into a small smile of remembrance, "He took care of me, too. When I got high, he gave me as much food as I wanted and when I got drunk in the kitchen, he brought me back to my room."</p><p>Ian smiled and ran his hand through Mickey's hair, "Go to sleep, babes.", he whispered and kissed his cheek again, Mickey still held Ian's flannel to his chest, as if it was a stuffed animal he wanted to cuddle.</p><p>He left the room and sighed.</p><p>Mickey was amazing, he was a good person in Ian's eyes. He was a sad and scared man, traumatized by his dad in so many ways and Ian wanted nothing more than to help him, love him... fix him.</p><p>But the more Mickey talked about Dimitri the more Ian understood that Mickey must still be in love with Dimitri. And while Ian started having feelings for Mickey, this was undeniable, he was afraid Mickey would only project his feelings for Dimitri on him, if he ever would acknowledge having any feelings for Ian at all.</p><p>He wasn't Dimitri. Dimitri was dead. Ian and Mickey had made much more than Mickey had ever done with Dimitri so why was it <em>that</em> man that was on Mickey's mind all the time?</p><p>He felt the fear of rejection creeping up on him. He shuddered, the hallway felt much colder than it did when he walked down it with Mickey a few minutes ago.</p><p>When he looked into Mickey's blue eyes, he saw all the things that made Mickey beautiful, his good nature, his yearning for romance and a random love. When he kissed Mickey, he could only feel Mickey, felt the wish to be as close as possible to him for as long as he could. When he saw him being sad, he wanted to hold him and comfort him, he wanted to protect him from the cruel world he was living in.</p><p>When Mickey looked at Ian, what did he see? When he kissed him, what did he feel? Did he see his first teenage love? Did he see the man he could have fallen in love with if he had more time, if he hadn't been killed? Did he feel like Dimitri came back for him? Did he see Ian for Ian at all? Or did he just keep looking for similarities between Ian and Dimitri?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Stage 4 fear of trying</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Though i've traveled far,<br/>I've been back to the start.<br/>And i found some scars in places i have never shown to anyone.<br/>I don't know why it took so long to get back home.<br/>"If you could hear the dreams i've had my dear..."<br/>Yea i know you've heard that line before.<br/>But if i had the chance to scream all the things i've underlined...</p><p>- Stage 4 fear of trying by Frank Iero and the cellabration</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ian had a meeting with Angus Field in the morning. It had been a sleepless night.<br/>
Angus Filed was a man in his forties, dark hair, tall. Ian couldn't imagine Mickey fucking this man. Mr Field wasn't unattractive, far from it, but Ian didn't understand it though.</p><p>After they had talked through some formalities and Ian had told him the official story of where he and Mickey went yesterday, Field shut the file in front of him and leaned back in hsi chair.</p><p>Ian looked at him surprised.<br/>
"The reason I asked for this conversation, Gallagher, is Mickey Milkovich."<br/>
Ian swallowed hard.<br/>
"I know the nature of your relationship with him, I have deleted some compromising footage off the security cameras."</p><p>"Uhm, thank you?"<br/>
"I don't have to tell you that sleeping with the person you are supposed to protect is unacceptable, do I now?"<br/>
"With all due respect, Mr Field, how I understood Mickey, you had the same kind of relationship with him not too long ago. It got you this position."</p><p>They stared at each other for a few seconds, both trying to assert dominance over the other until Mr Field gave up.</p><p>"Listen, Mr Gallagher", Mr Field said and sighed, "Mickey is playing a dangerous game. If Terry Milkovich ever finds out about this, both of you will end up dead. And I will end up dead too, because he will realise that I helped Mickey to keep this a secret."</p><p>Ian looked at him for a long moment, taking in Mr Fields words and his voice, "You care about him.", he concluded, he didn't know why he was so surprised by that.</p><p>By the way Mr Field stopped looking at him but looked at his hands, Ian knew he was right, "You want to protect him. Maybe you even have feelings for him."<br/>
"You overstep, Gallagher"<br/>
Ian leaned back in his chair, "You have feelings for him."<br/>
"This is not the point."<br/>
"I think it is, Mr Field."</p><p>Mr Field shook his head, "I'm trying to give you a way out, Mr Gallagher. Leave this family before Terry finds out that you are having an affair with his son."<br/>
"You want me to leave because you want him."<br/>
"No", Mr Field said but Ian knew he was lying, "My relationship with Mickey was brief, it was two years ago."<br/>
"You still love him."</p><p>Mr Field shook his head, but his eyes went sad, "We", he said and looked at Ian sincerely, "Do not matter. Not to this family, not to Mickey Milkovich. If Terry finds out about your or mine homosexuality, he will kill us. And Mickey will stand next to him and he won't even flinch. I think you have feelings for him, too, Mr Gallagher, and trust me, when I say it is in your best interest, to forget about him as quick as possible. He does not love you, he won't ever love you. He loved a scullion, Mr Gallagher, his name was Dimitri."</p><p>"I know about Dimitri", Ian interrupted.<br/>
"Then you know his fate. You can leave now, or you can fall in love with a man who will never love you back, and if even will never be able to be with you and you will end up shot in the head."</p><p>"You didn't end up dead. You're head of security because of him"<br/>
"He only did this to his benefit. I can help him disappearing from the security footage. I can employ and fire new security details for him without anyone finding out, that they were fired because Mickey got tired of playing with them. Because of him I'm one of Terry Milkovich's most trusted, and with that I'm watched at all times, though. I'm closer to the man than his children and with that completely unable to ever give into a man's charm ever again. This fate is worse than being dead. Because I'm in a constant state of fear of being caught."</p><p>Ian lowered his eyes at the table.<br/>
"Your options are clear: End up trapped, like me. End up dead, like Dimitri. Or leave as long as you still can. But don't think that you are different than the rest, because you're not."</p><p>Ian bit his bottom lip, he stared at the wooden desk in front of him, his thoughts were spiralling.<br/>
Eventually, he wordlessly got up and went to the door.</p><p>He stopped and turned around to Mr Field, "Mickey is a good person"<br/>
"He is not."<br/>
"He is. And because of that I will stay until he is done with me.", he said and left the office.</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>A few days later. Ian stood in front of Mickey's door like usual. The last few days his mind has been occupied with Mr Field's words. Was Mr Field, right? Would he inevitable end up dead? Did Mr Filed only have his position because Mickey wanted to use it for his benefit?</p><p>Did he not matter to Mickey?</p><p>He hadn't seen the Milkovich all day. Mickey was in his room, no interest in dinner or breakfast or company from his sister.</p><p>Ian worried about him. But he also wasn't sure if he wanted the confrontation with Mickey just yet, because he wouldn't be able to stop himself from talking about Mr Field.</p><p>Eventually, he couldn't take it anymore, after Mickey refused to see Mandy who brought dinner up to his room.</p><p>As soon as Mandy was gone, Ian opened the door to Mickey's room, not caring that the milkovich threw out his sister moments before and was only shouting protests from inside.<br/>
He took the dinner Mandy had left at the door and brought it inside.</p><p>"Go away", he heard Mickey voice from the bed. Ian walked up to the bed. Mickey had built himself a small cocoon of blankets that he hid in.</p><p>"You have to eat your dinner, Mickey"<br/>
"I don't have to do shit, fuck off."<br/>
"Mickey, please.", Ian whispered and gently pulled the blanket away from Mickey's head, Mickey looked up at him, he looked like he hadn't slept properly in a few days.</p><p>Ian placed the plate on the nightstand and took his jacket and shoes off.<br/>
"Why are you sad, Mick?"<br/>
"I'm not say, leave me alone."<br/>
"You are sad, I can see your face. Look fucking sad."<br/>
Mickey shook his head, "Just sober", he whispered.</p><p>Ian crawled into Mickey's bed and pulled Mickey into his lap. Mickey rested his head on Ian's thigh and Ian started running his hand through his black hair.</p><p>"Are you okay?"<br/>
"I'm fine", Mickey whispered, "Just not feeling like getting up... or eating. Not feeling all too much right now.", he hid his face in the fabric of Ian's pants, "I hate feeling like this. I take the fucking drugs to not feel like this, but you always come with your fucking 'they're bad for you' and 'I like sober Mickey' I don't fucking like him."</p><p>Ian pressed his lips together, he slid down until he lay more on the bed and could pull Mickey up to his chest.</p><p>They lay there for a few silent minutes.</p><p>"Where did you hide my drugs, Ian?", Mickey asked finally.</p><p>A while ago, after seeing Mickey sober for the first time, Ian had talked him into staying sober during the days, leading to Ian hiding his drugs.</p><p>"You don't need the drugs, you will be okay. I'm here."<br/>
"Fuck that, I want my fucking drugs, Gallagher."</p><p>Ian kissed the top of his head, "Don't I matter to you at all?", he whispered.</p><p>He didn't mean to ask him this so directly, ask him this now, when Mickey was depressed and breaking down, ask him this while the man just wanted his drugs.</p><p>Mickey lifted his head up and turned around to look at Ian's face, before lying down on his chest again, his head to heavy to hold it up by himself, "What are you talking about?"</p><p>"Nothing", Ian shook his head, "You're not getting the drugs. But you get food."<br/>
"Fuck you."</p><p>Ian massaged Mickey's scalp and shook his head.</p><p>Even though Mickey didn't want it, Ian's presence calmed him down, his hand on his skin, in his hair, calmed him. He lay on his chest, closed eyes, just feeling Ian's warmth for a few minutes.</p><p>"Why would you say you don't matter to me?", the Milkovich asked eventually.</p><p>"I had a conversation with Angus Field.", Ian sighed, "he wanted to make me quit... He's in love with you, you know?"<br/>
"No, he isn't it."<br/>
"He is. I think he also hates you, at least tries to. But he also loves you, still."<br/>
"He's old.", Mickey mumbled, "I made him suck my dick a couple of times two years ago."<br/>
"He loves you. And he asked me to quit, allegedly because I will end up dead if I stay, he said I don't matter to you."</p><p>"You matter", he mumbled and absentmindedly played with Ian's buttons on his white shirt, "And none of my bodyguards ended up dead, I had them fired at some point, that's all."</p><p>Ian kissed his forehead and kept lying in silence with him. But another thought was itching the inside of his brain and he couldn't stop himself from asking: "Do I only matter because I remind you of Dimitri?"</p><p>Mickey opened his eyes again and scooted away from Ian until they weren't touching anymore.</p><p>"Why do you keep asking about Dimitri? I don't want to fucking talk about Dimitri or think about Dimitri."<br/>
"I'm sorry", Ian said quickly, "But you said, I remind you of him."<br/>
Mickey shrugged, "And? Why do you care? You're not him, he is dead. He will always be dead, and it will always be my fault. Can't I even acknowledge that you share some traits with him? Share freckled cheeks and shoulders?"</p><p>Ian rolled to the side to be face to face with Mickey.<br/>
"I'm sorry", he said more sincerely now, "I will stop talking about him, I promise."<br/>
"It was a long time ago", Mickey whispered.<br/>
"I know."<br/>
"I like that you remind me of him, doesn't mean I turn you into him."<br/>
"Okay, I get it, I'm sorry. Calm down, Mickey. I don't mean to upset you. I just worry about you, maybe a bit too much, okay? So please eat your dinner."</p><p>Ian sat up on the bed and took the plate with food from the nightstand.</p><p>Mickey sat up too and looked at it, "I'm not hungry."<br/>
"You have to eat."<br/>
Mickey sighed and looked at him, "I'll only eat it when you stay with me the night."<br/>
"Mick-"<br/>
"The whole night... I just don't want to be alone."</p><p>Ian sighed and nodded, "Okay."</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>Ian stayed the night in Mickey's bed, with Mickey in his arms. They didn't talk a lot, Ian had just watched Mickey lying there calmly on his chest.</p><p>He woke up with Mickey in his arms. The man's skin was cool most of the time, he was constantly cold, too. But right now, Mickey's body was nice and warm against his own. On the other hand, he seemed so much smaller than usual right now, Ian felt like he could wrap himself fully around Mickey, like a cocoon, to protect him from the world outside this room.</p><p>Ian buried his head in the crook of Mickey's neck and kissed his warm skin.<br/>
He kept peppering small kisses on his neck and shoulder, until Mickey slowly woke up.</p><p>Ian's hand lay on top of Mickey's, and the Milkovich brought it up to his lips to kiss his knuckles sleepily.</p><p>"I almost forgot how nice it is", Ian whispered, "Waking up with someone like this."<br/>
Mickey made a noise of agreement, then let go of Ian's hand.<br/>
"How long until you have to leave?"<br/>
"An hour maximum, I can go now, if you want to get rid of me."<br/>
"I don't. But you have to fuck me before you leave.", Mickey mumbled.<br/>
"Why do I <em>have to</em>? I mean, I want to, but..."<br/>
"Because you sleeping in my bed, spooning me and all that shit, it's pointless if we're not having sex, not even making out. It's weird."<br/>
"Why can't we just be like this because we like being close to each other?", Ian asked.</p><p>Mickey didn't answer for a minute, just kept enjoying lying with Ian like this.</p><p>"Just fuck me. But in this position, I don't feel like moving."<br/>
Ian sighed, "Okay", he leaned over Mickey to at least be able to kiss him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Bury me deep inside</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ukrainian:<br/>серце моє /sérce moje/ - 'my heart' </p><p>Let's stay with the idea Mickey is 20, the following is a flashback, he was 15 years old. Dimitri was 18 or 19.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Let me wake up in your arms, you say it's not alright<br/>Let me be so dead and gone, so far away from life<br/>Close my eyes, hold me tight<br/>And bury me deep inside your heart<br/>All I ever wanted was you my love<br/>You're all I ever wanted<br/>You, my love</p><p>- Bury me deep inside by HIM</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>5 years ago </strong>
</p><p>Mickey was in Dimitri's apartment.</p><p>The small Milkovich boy liked hiding out here. Dimitri could blow him without them having to fear being caught all the time.</p><p>Mickey sat on a kitchen counter.<br/>
Dimitri was mixing together ingredients for Mickeys favourite cupcakes.</p><p>Mickey looked at him, watched him move his tall body so elegantly in the kitchen, as if he was constantly hearing music from somewhere and could barely stop himself from dancing.</p><p>Mickey could never get tired of watching Dimitri.</p><p>The long legs, the slim body, up to broad shoulders, strong arms and his handsome face.</p><p>Dimitri looked at him, he caught him staring like so often, but he didn't mind. Instead he just smiled at Mickey. The bright smile lit up his freckle-covered face, his dark eyes looked at him with so much warmth and endearment, it gave Mickey a fuzzy feeling in his gut, he got goose bumps when Dimitri started to speak so softly to him, softer than anyone ever did before.</p><p>"Sérce moje", he said to him to get his attention, Mickeys Ukrainian wasn't good, but he knew it meant 'my heart', "You look at me again like you can't believe I exist."<br/>
Dimitri came up to him until he stood between Mickeys legs, he wrapped his arms around his body.</p><p>"Sometimes I can't", Mickey admitted and smiled.</p><p>Dimitri grinned at him, he took his hand and kissed his knuckles.</p><p>"You are beautiful, Mikhailo", Dimitri whispered and pulled him down from the counter, he turned him around in his arms, so Mickeys back was pressed against Dimitri's front, "I will put the muffins into the oven and then I will suck your cock again", he whispered into his ear.</p><p>"I want to do it to you too, today", Mickey whispered, he had never touched Dimitri's dick so far, only seen it, fantasized about it. But today he felt ready. He wanted to touch Dimitri, jerk him off and suck his dick, he wanted to make him feel as good as he made him feel.</p><p>Dimitri chuckled and kissed his shoulder, "Sérce moje, you will be the death of me", he whispered, "But first, taste the cupcake mix, they are for you, you have to approve."</p><p>Mickey grinned and Dimitri let go off him so he could step closer to the bowel with cupcake batter.</p><p>"You got a spoon?"<br/>
"You can use your pretty fingers."</p><p>Mickey smirked at him and used his finger to taste the batter.<br/>
Dimitri watched him licking it off his finger.</p><p>"It's fantastic, Dimitri", Mickey grinned, "You should be a baker or a chef, not just the kitchen boy Roman can boss around."</p><p>Dimitri shrugged, "Mr Tereshchenko is alright. As kitchen boy I keep a low profile. No one expects me to be close to you."</p><p>Dimitri smiled and used his thumb to clean off some batter from Mickeys lips, he let his thumb slip into Mickeys mouth, who sucked the batter off his finger and almost blushed because he did it.</p><p>Dimitri traced the line of Mickeys bottom lip with his finger and mumbled something in Ukrainian that Mickey couldn't understand. He looked at him confused, Dimitri smiled.</p><p>"Lips of an Angel", Dimitri translated his own words, "Beautiful. I want to kiss you, sérce moje, please."</p><p>Mickey had never kissed anyone before. But he had wished for so long that Dimitri would kiss him, he just never had the guts to ask for a kiss.</p><p>"I want to kiss you, too", Mickey whispered, "I just... never kissed anyone before"</p><p>Dimitri smiled. He took Mickeys hands and made him wrap his arms around his neck. Dimitri put one of his own hands on Mickeys cheek and the other one into his black hair.</p><p>"You're nervous", Dimitri whispered smiling.<br/>
Mickey could barely react, He just concentrated on Dimitri being so close to him, he was about to kiss him!</p><p>Dimitri finally leaned in, their lips were less than an inch apart, when suddenly the apartment door opened.</p><p>Both boys inhaled sharply and quickly look to the door, a man stood there, Mickey didn't know him. He didn't know what was going on, but Dimitri quickly let go of him and the new man started shouting in Ukrainian.</p><p>Dimitri tried to calm the man down.<br/>
Among the shouted words Mickey caught some words like "cheater" "liar" "bastard" "I will kill you"</p><p>"Mikhailo, leave", Dimitri said to him quickly and Mickey wanted to protest, but the other man threw a vase in his direction and yelled at him.</p><p>Mickey was scared, so he ran. He ran out of the apartment and let Dimitri alone with the aggressive man.</p><p>In the following days, Dimitri didn't come to work and didn't answer his phone.</p><p>Around a week later everyone was called into the "court room" how Terry called it, but there never was a court, lawyers, proven guilt. Once you were in the court room you were a dead man.</p><p>Mickey walked there with his little sister, he was worried because of Dimitri, he could barely let his mind concentrate on anything else.</p><p>Mickey stood next to his brothers when they brought in the poor guy who would be killed now - Mickeys breathing stopped.</p><p>They dragged in Dimitri. His Dimitri. His freckled face busted up, a black eye around his warm teddy bear eye, his beautiful fingers crushed. He didn't look elegant, stumbling before them, he was forced to kneel in front of Terry, hands bound together.</p><p>Mickeys heart cracked.</p><p>Mickey grabbed Mandy's hand, he stared at Dimitri, tears threatened to spill out of his eyes. He could stop them in the last moment. If they saw him crying, he could be next.</p><p>Why was this happening? Why was Dimitri here?</p><p>His father started talking. Mickey barely listened, only a few words stuck with him like "treason" and "traitor" - But Dimitri wasn't a rat! He was a kitchen boy, he didn't even know anything he could rat them out for.</p><p>This wasn't why Dimitri was kneeling in front of him. Mickey knew that. Dimitri looked up and he looked at Mickey and he knew that Dimitri knew it too.</p><p>And yet, there was no blame in Dimitri's eyes. No hate, no regret, just endearment and sadness.</p><p>"Last words?", Terry asked, he at least granted him this.</p><p>Dimitri look at the ground and started speaking slowly in Ukrainian so Mickey could understand him: "My heart, I do not regret you. I just regret I never kissed the lips of my angel."</p><p>And then a shot echoed through the room, as loudly as the sound of Mickeys heart breaking in his chest and Mickey had to run out and to his room where he could break down and cry.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. The Ghost of you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>And all the things that you never ever told me<br/>And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me<br/>Never coming home<br/>Never coming home<br/>Could I<br/>Should I</p><p>- The Ghost of you by My Chemical Romance</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Now</strong>
</p><p>Mickey had his fun with Ian.<br/>They laughed, they kissed, they fucked. Mickey went to parties and clubs and Ian "had to come with him because he was his bodyguard" and Ian did his bodyguard duties by being as close as possible to Mickey. When other people were around, he would of course watch from a distance, make sure Mickey was safe while watching the man being happy, drinking and laughing with his brothers.</p><p>In the evening Mickey let Ian suck his cock or let him take him however he wanted.</p><p>As of today, Mickey had spent the evening riding Ian on the small couch in his room while Ian kissed his whole body, licked over his nipples, could barely stop himself from sucking a hickey on Mickeys skin while jerking him off.</p><p>They finished with Ian coming inside of Mickey, shooting his load up into his gut, pushing Mickey down on his cock.</p><p>Mickey could barely stop himself, he had kept sliding up and down on his dick, whispering dirty things, "Fuck me again, use your fucking cum as lube, shoot all your loads inside of me"</p><p>Ian would have loved to fulfil Mickey's wish, he wanted to do all the dirty things Mickey asked of him.</p><p>"Babe, I don't think I fucking can, that already was the second round tonight. I'm not a cum machine", Ian had panted heavily, and Mickey had just chuckled and kissed him.</p><p>Now Mickey was lying in his bed, his ass was still hurting slightly, but in a good way. He knew Ian stood outside his door and he was compelled to call him back in to get at least his dick sucked again.</p><p>Mickey rolled around in his bed and closed his eyes.</p><p>He opened his eyes again after a minute of still not finding sleep and gasped when he saw a figure standing by the bed.</p><p>Dimitri.</p><p>Mickey knew he wasn't real, but for a moment he didn't care.</p><p>The familiar smile spread over Dimitri's face when he came closer and sat down on the edge of Mickey's bed.</p><p>"Sérce moje", he whispered, "I thought we were done with this."</p><p>Mickey looked at him, he took in his face and his body, he had missed him so much.</p><p>"When you were seventeen, you promised, you would let go", Dimitri said softly and brought a hand up to Mickey's head, ran his fingers through his black hair, Mickey's imagination was so strong, he could almost feel his hand in his hair, "You promised me."</p><p>"I just miss you", Mickey whispered.<br/>"I miss you too. But you have to let go. You can't go back to doing this every night."</p><p>Dimitri lay down next to Mickey, "I just exist in your head, Mikhailo, I'm dead."<br/>"Don't say that"<br/>"But it's the truth."</p><p>Mickey pressed his lips together, and shook his head, tears threatened to set in again, "I still didn't get that kiss from you."<br/>Dimitri shook his head, "You can't get it from me. But out there is someone who is willing to kiss you every second of every day, right outside that door."</p><p>"You mean Ian", Mickey whispered.<br/>Dominic nodded, "He's a good person. And you have feelings for him."<br/>"But I don't want him to end up like you."<br/>"So, your solution is imagining a dead man every night?"</p><p>Mickey shrugged, he looked up at him, his freckled face and dark eyes, Mickey wanted to touch his cheek, but he knew, if he tried the illusion would collapse, "I love you."<br/>Dimitri nodded, "I know. I loved you too, Sérce moje. But it's time for a new love. That man out there, he is good for you. You need to allow yourself to love him. Okay? Let me go and love him with all your heart."</p><p>"Not all my heart", Mickey whispered, "A bit will always belong to you."<br/>"And that's okay, Mikhailo. But you know, I would want you to love someone new. You know, I would want you to be happy. Ian can make you happy if you let him."<br/>"He makes me happy", Mickey admitted.</p><p>"Good", Dimitri whispered, "Stop living in the past, Sérce moje. You deserve more than a memory and a ghost.", he leaned down to kiss his forehead, and Mickey could swear he could feel his lips, "<span class="tlid-translation translation"><span class="">я тебе любив</span></span>" he whispered.<br/>"I loved you, too", Mickey said and closed his eyes again. When he opened his eyes again, Dimitri was gone. Mickey exhaled deeply, he got out of his bed and wiped his tears away.</p><p>He quickly went to the door and opened it, Ian stood in front of it, the ginger turned around to him. "Mickey are you okay?", he asked.<br/>"Come in here for a minute." <br/>Ian entered the room, "Did you cry?"</p><p>Mickey gently pushed him against the door and, after looking into his eyes for a few seconds, kissed him. When Mickey separated them again, Ian looked down at him a little bit surprised, Mickey had never kissed him this gently. The Gallagher wiped Mickey's tears away with his thumb. <br/>"Are you alright?"<br/>Mickey nodded, "Just had a weird dream.", he lied, "I like knowing that you stand out there to protect me."<br/>Ian smiled, he kissed his forehead, "Go back to your ridiculously big bed, Mickey, Good night." <br/>Mickey nodded and stole one last kiss from his lips before going back to his bed and Ian left the room, smiling brightly.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. The Drug in me is you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>I felt the darkness as it tried to pull me down<br/>The kind of dark that haunts a hundred year old house<br/>I wrestle with my thoughts I shook the hand of doubt<br/>Running from my past I'm praying feet don't fail me now!<br/>I've lost my god damn mind<br/>It happens all the time<br/>I can't believe I'm actually<br/>Meant to be here</p><p>The Drug in me is you - Falling in Reverse</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A few months later</p><p>Mickey and Ian were at a party – well Mickey was at a party, together with his siblings and Ian was there as his bodyguard, watching him.</p><p>Mickey knew Ian watched him, he wore the tight jeans that his ass looked great in, and a tank that made Ian pretty much unable to look away from his body.</p><p>Mickey enjoyed being watched by Ian. He enjoyed feeling the sexual tension between them. He knew he would fuck him senseless tonight.</p><p>Ian watched Mickey from a distance, how he laughed and smoked and danced a bit with his sister.</p><p>"Ian?", a voice appeared next to him.</p><p>Ian turned to the new person, his name was Caleb, he was Ian's ex-boyfriend.<br/>
"Hey man it's good to see you", Caleb grinned, and they gave each other a bro hug. After their breakup they remained friends, sort off – they occasionally hooked up and hung out together.</p><p>"Yeah, man, what are you doing here?"<br/>
"Cousin of a friend invited me. I think he wants it, if you know what I mean", he winked at him, "What about you. Last time I heard from you, you were about to take some stupid security job."</p><p>Ian nodded, "I'm on the job right now, or do you think I enjoy standing around in a suit in this heat?", his eyes instantly searched for Mickey again, the Milkovich was looking over to them.<br/>
"So, you're a bodyguard now or something."<br/>
"Yeah", Ian nodded and smiled, "It's a good job, good money for practically just standing around making sure a Milkovich kid doesn't overdose."</p><p>Caleb laughed, "Man, but ya know, they expect you to take a bullet for them Milkoviches at some point, right?"<br/>
"I don't think it will come to that", Ian shook his head.</p><p>A second later Mickey appeared next to him.<br/>
"Hey, Mr Milkovich", Ian said and tried to lose his ridiculous smile that always appeared on his face when Mickey was close, "Is there a problem, do you need something?"</p><p>Ian had to talk like this when they had company, so no one would caught on to the two of them. Usually, Mickey would find the hiding game hot, but right now he didn't seem turned on. He looked from Ian to Caleb and back.</p><p>"I need you to do your job, Mr Gallagher. You are not here to work on your social relations, you can do that in your free time."<br/>
"Don't let me fool you, Mr Milkovich, I didn't let you out of sight for a second. You downed a shot, then drank from your brother's drink, he hit you on the back of your head and then you came over, shoving that one lady in the red dress, so she spilled her drink over her dress, which made her nipples visible, so the man she was talking too has trouble looking at her face right now and will probably get a hard on in the next three minutes and because of that will excuse himself soon."</p><p>Mickey looked back to the crowd to the girl in the red dress, she rubbed a napkin over her tits and the man across from her stared at her tits so intensely, his eyes almost plopped out of his skull.</p><p>Thirty seconds later, the man excused himself and slowly went to the bathrooms. Ian smirked.</p><p>"I always do my job the way you want it, Mr Milkovich", Ian assured him.<br/>
Mickey licked over his bottom lip and nodded, "Okay. Who is that?", he pointed at Caleb with his chin.</p><p>"Uhm", Ian swallowed, "This is Caleb, we grew up in the same neighbourhood."<br/>
Ian could tell that Mickey didn't believe him.<br/>
"Well, whatever. Mandy's got some MDMA, so I'm there.", Mickey said and turned around.</p><p>Ian sighed deeply, Mickey had been sober for months, now he would just throw this away? Because Ian talked to someone?"</p><p>The Gallagher looked at Caleb.<br/>
"Well, he is really something", Caleb said, "How can you keep up with this drama every day?"<br/>
Ian shrugged. Caleb leaned closer.<br/>
"I'd fuck him though", Caleb mumbled and both chuckled.<br/>
"Don't kid yourself, you're a bottom.", Ian said grinning.</p><p>"Yeah, and I'd suck that cock dry."<br/>
Ian chuckled and shook his head.<br/>
"Speaking of which, are you fucking anyone at the moment?"<br/>
Ian raised his eyebrows at the question, "Don't I always?", he tried to sound laid-back, to not let Caleb catch on that he was indeed fucking Mickey and was the one sucking him dry every other night.</p><p>"A Boyfriend situation?"<br/>
"No, I don't think so, why?"<br/>
"Because I'm horny and you look as hot as ever."<br/>
Ian smirked, "I'm at work. If Mickey notices I'm gone for five minutes, he's gonna throw a fit."<br/>
"Doesn't have to be now. You still got my number?"<br/>
"Yes, of course."<br/>
"Good, I will send you a pick of my cock and my ass later. And you can tell me which one you want to explore with that tongue of yours first.", Caleb grinned, winked and then left.</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>Ian got Mickey back to his room safely.<br/>
Mickey was in a bad mood.</p><p>The Milkovich let himself fall on his bed. Ian closed the door to the room, locked it and came up to him.</p><p>"Did I fucking allow you to come in?"</p><p>Ian sat down on the bed, ignoring his comment, "Did you take the drugs?", he asked looking down at him.<br/>
Mickey held eye contact with him until he couldn't anymore, sighed and shook his head, "I wish I did, I'd be in a better fucking mood now."</p><p>"I'm in a better mood knowing you didn't take the drugs"<br/>
"Good for you", Mickey spat, "Now get out."</p><p>"Mick, what's going on? What did I do wrong?", he asked and took Mickey's hand, Mickey pulled his hand back and sat up.</p><p>"You lied to me", he said and crossed his arms in front of his chest.<br/>
Ian sighed, "You mean Caleb? Okay, he's not just a friend, he's my ex-boyfriend. I just thought, it would be weird if I, as your bodyguard, would tell you, a Milkovich, that I'm gay."</p><p>Mickey rolled his eyes and just growled.<br/>
Ian smiled at him, "Are you jealous?"<br/>
"No!"<br/>
"You are jealous", he said and kissed his cheek, "What for, babes? He's just some ex and we talked for a couple of minutes. Apart from the fact that you can't forbid me to meet other people... I'm not interested in meeting with him."</p><p>Mickey was beginning to come around, he looked at him and sighed. Ian smiled at him and put a hand on his cheek, when his phone made a noise, informing him of a new message.</p><p>Ian quickly remembered that Caleb wanted to send him a picture and chose to ignore his phone.<br/>
"You got a message", Mickey said.<br/>
"I know."<br/>
"Won't you check it?"<br/>
"No"</p><p>Mickey frowned, "What if it's your brother? Or someone else from your family?"<br/>
"It's probably not them, it's nothing, come on, you were just about to realize how stupid your jealousy was and then I was about to kiss you", he said sweetly and put his hand on Mickey's thigh. But Mickey quickly pulled Ian's phone out of his suit jacket.</p><p>"Mickey, no, give it back"<br/>
Mickey shook his head and crawled away from him on the bed.<br/>
"Mick, seriously, come here."</p><p>Ian took off his jacket and then pulled Mickey by the legs up to him again, but Mickey was strong, stronger than Ian knew, and quick. The Milkovich was able to hold the phone screen up to Ian's face long enough to unlock it and then pushed Ian off and went off to the other side of the bed, Ian quickly came to him, but it was too late.</p><p>"Wow", Mickey said, "Impressive cock."<br/>
Ian sighed, "I know that cock and it's really not that impressive."<br/>
"I know, my point was, it's a cock. And a picture of his asshole. He already douched for you Ian, won't you let him know <em>when you will come over</em>?", he held the screen up to Ian's face.</p><p>Ian snatched the phone from him and put it on the nightstand without looking at the picture.<br/>
"It's not my fault that he sends me those pictures, Mick. It's not my fault that he was at the party and you seriously have no reason whatsoever to be jealous. Seriously, why are you so pissed?"</p><p>Mickey looked at him and swallowed hard, "I'm not", he said quickly, "I'm just cranky because I'm sober, leave me alone." Mickey wanted to get up from the bed, but Ian wrapped his arms around his waist from behind and pulled him back to him. He kissed his cheek.</p><p>"Just", Mickey said but stopped himself.<br/>
"Just what?", Ian mumbled, kissing his neck.</p><p>"Is it him?", Mickey asked.<br/>
"Is he who?"<br/>
"The guy you randomly fell in love with?"</p><p>Ian stopped kissing him and made Mickey sit next to him so he could look him in the eyes.<br/>
"No", he smiled, "It's you, idiot."</p><p>Ian chuckled while Mickey's face went from confused over surprised to nervous, a small blush even creeped up his cheeks.</p><p>"I love <em>you</em>", Ian said and ran his hand through Mickey's hair, "And that's pretty fucking random, because I certainly did not expect it when you made me suck your cock."</p><p>Mickey sat in front of him speechless, he eventually just leaped forwards and kissed Ian, he pushed the ginger down on the mattress and kissed him passionately.</p><p>Mickey ran his hands over Ian's body, Ian was a bit perplexed but dropped his hands to Mickey's ass. The Milkovich unbuttoned Ian's shirt with clumsy fingers. When he pushed the shirt from Ian's freckled shoulders, he separated from him for a second, "I love you, too", he panted, Ian just grinned brightly up at him.<br/>
"That's good", he chuckled and pulled Mickey's shirt off him.<br/>
"Yeah", Mickey grinned and kissed him again.</p><p>They hastily pulled their remaining clothes off each other’s bodies, almost ripping them in the process, throwing them in some random corner of the room.<br/>
Mickey marvelled at Ian's body, the freckles on his shoulders, the toned body, those gorgeous abs, the army tattoo on his ribs.</p><p>Ian pushed Mickey down on the mattress into the pillows. He stopped kissing him for a moment, looked at him panting, "Really?"<br/>
"Really!", Mickey nodded and pulled him into the kiss again, rubbing their cocks together between their bodies.</p><p>Ian kissed down Mickey's body, over his neck, his collar bone, across his chest, flicked his tongue over his nipple and kissed down until he reached his cock. He pushed Mickey's legs up so he could reach his ass and started jerking Mickey off.</p><p>Mickey moaned lowly and Ian wrapped his lips around Mickey's dick.</p><p>Ian looked up at Mickey while sucking his cock and he couldn't believe that pretty much this action had brought them here.</p><p>Ian licked his cock up and down and sucked one of his balls into his mouth.<br/>
Mickey moaned while Ian worked his way further down until he pressed a kiss on his right and cheek and spanked the left one playfully.</p><p>The ginger grinned up at Mickey, he spread his cheeks and flicked his tongue over his hole. Mickey moaned and grabbed the pillow underneath his head.</p><p>Ian proceeded to eat Mickey out, having the Milkovich moan and groan loudly for him.<br/>
Ian circled his tongue around his hole and thrusted into Mickey, getting a higher pitched noise out of the Milkovich.</p><p>Ian jerked Mickey’s dick while licking into him. He spit on his own fingers and kissed the patch of skin between his balls and his hole and slowly inserted a finger into his hole. Ian sucked one of his balls into his mouth again and thrusted with his fingers in and out of the Milkovich.</p><p>Mickey felt Ian's fingers thrusting in and out of him in a fast pace, he could cum just from that. Ian kissed up Mickey’s body again, sucked on the pale skin of his neck, Mickey roughly pulled him back up to kiss him.</p><p>“Fuck me”, Mickey panted, “Now. Come on.”<br/>
Ian smirked and reached for the lube while still fingering him.<br/>
Ian pulled his fingers out, and quickly coated his dick in lube.<br/>
"You’re so damn hot when you’re bossing me around", Ian mumbled, repositioning himself and leaning down to kiss him again.</p><p>"Kinky bastard - oh fuck!", the playful comment turned into a long moan when Ian pushed in.<br/>
Ian bottomed out and stilled for a second, kissing Mickey passionately, giving him time to adjust.<br/>
For a second, they only concentrated on the kiss, it was a hungry kiss, passionate, it was their love declarations all over again.</p><p>Ian started thrusting in and out of Mickey, slowly at first.</p><p>"Come on that's all you got?", he challenged Ian grinning.</p><p>Ian chuckled and fucked into him harder and faster, earning a string of low moans from his lover.<br/>
"Fuck, I love you”, Mickey panted and dug his fingernails into Ian’s shoulders.</p><p>Ian sneaked a hand between their body's, grasping Mickeys dick, jerking him off in the same rhythm he trusted into him, he kissed down Mickeys jaw, neck, chest, gently circling his nipple with his tongue, earning a particularly loud moan from Mickey.<br/>
He lightly bit down on his nipple, then sucked on it – Mickey hated that he loved it.</p><p>Ian came back up and kissed his lips, they panted into each other’s mouth and Mickey threw his head back when Ian hit his spot.<br/>
“I love you”, Mickey panted whispered again, as if it was the obscenest thing he could whisper during sex – and it did turn on Ian more than any generic moan and compliment about his body ever could.</p><p>“Love you too”, Ian whispered and grinned against the skin of Mickey’s neck, where he sucked a small hickey. He just had to mark him like this right now, he was his and only his at this moment, there was no room, no thought for anyone else, for ex-lovers or homophobic family members, for the future or past – they were just here, now and Mickey said “I love you” and he never wanted this to end.</p><p>"Fuck, I'm gonna cum", Mickey moaned.<br/>
Ian smiled and kissed him, his own orgasm wasn't far away either.<br/>
A couple of thrusts later, Mickey came with a loud moan all over his own stomach and Ian's hand.<br/>
He lay there blissed out, sloppily kissing Ian and holding his cum stained hand tightly in his, while Ian fucked into him to get himself off as well.</p><p>After Ian came with a low moan inside of Mickey, he stayed on top of him, he peppered small kissed all over his face, before pulling out of him and rolling down from him to lie next to him.</p><p>“Holy fuck”, Ian panted and chuckled.<br/>
“Agree”, Mickey nodded.</p><p>Ian took a tissue from the nightstand to clean his hand. When he turned back around to his lover, he saw that he had the famous list in his hands again.<br/>
“So, how is this stupid name of yours spelled?”<br/>
“G-A-L-L-A-G-H-E-R”, Ian spelled it out and looked over his shoulder to see where Mickey would write his name down now.</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>First Kiss: </em>
  </strong>
  <em>Ian Galager</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>First BJ from:</em>
  </strong>
  <em> Dimitri Kozhanov </em>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>First BJ to: </em>
  </strong>
  <em>Ian Galager</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>First HandyJ from:</em>
  </strong>
  <em> Dimitri Kozhanov </em>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>First HandyJ to:</em>
  </strong>
  <em> Zoran Lysenko </em>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>First Assfuck Bottom for:</em>
  </strong>
  <em> Zoran Lysenko </em>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>First Assfuck top for:</em>
  </strong>
  <em> Angus Field</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>First Crush:</em>
  </strong>
  <em> Dimitri Kozhanov </em>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>First Boyfriend:</em>
  </strong>
  <em> who the fuck am I kidding?!</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Best dick: </em>
  </strong>
  <em>Ian Gallager</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Best fuck:</em>
  </strong>
  <em> Ian Gallagher </em>
</p><p>“Three different variants of my name on just one list, gotta be a new record”, Ian grinned and kissed his shoulder before turning back on his back.</p><p>Mickey put the list away again and scooted over to Ian, he rested his head on Ian’s chest and the ginger pulled the blanket over the two of them.</p><p>Mickey reached for Ian’s phone on the nightstand and held it up to Ian’s face to unlock it again.<br/>
“And they said this safer than pin number”, Ian sighed, “What are you doing now.”<br/>
“Monopolising you.”<br/>
“Monopolising?”, Ian asked confused.</p><p>Mickey opened Ian’s chat with Caleb.</p><p><strong>Ian:</strong>     You can’t have him<br/>
            Fuck off!</p><p>Ian shook his head and kissed the top of Mickey’s head.<br/>
“So that’s what Milkoviches call starting an exclusive relationship?”, Ian chuckled.<br/>
“Yeah. Do you think Mandy asked that dude of hers to be her boyfriend? She decided that he is, and he missed the timeslot to object.”</p><p>Ian laughed and took his phone out of Mickey’s hands before the Milkovich could start going through all of Ian’s contacts to single out his hook-ups and tell them to fuck off.</p><p>“Well, I wouldn’t object to being your boyfriend.”<br/>
Mickey smiled and cuddled against his warm skin, “Nice Dream, Gallagher, but boyfriends do more than fucking exclusively, and with my family situation, I can’t give you more.”, he said sadly and started drawing little patterns on Ian’s chest.</p><p>“You’re giving me more already”, Ian said, “Right now. Every time you drag me to those clubs in secret and let me kiss you. Come on, when my family asks if I have a boyfriend I want to answer with yes.”<br/>
Mickey smiled, “You can do that”, he mumbled.<br/>
“Yeah?”<br/>
“Yeah.”</p><p>Ian grinned widely and kissed the top of his head.</p><p>“I’m scared”, Mickey said after a while of comfortable silence.<br/>
“Of what?”<br/>
“Of someone finding out… of something happening to you.”<br/>
“Nothing’s going to happen to me, babe”, Ian whispered, “Don’t worry about this, We’ll be okay.”</p><p>Mickey exhaled deeply and scooted even closer to Ian, almost lying on top of him.</p><p>“You want to know what I’m scared of?”<br/>
“Dolls.”<br/>
Ian rolled his eyes, “Shut up, they’re fucking creepy. No, I’m scared… that you still love Dimitri and try to replace him with me.”, he whispered finally and bit his lip.”</p><p>Mickey licked his lips, “You’re nothing like Dimitri. He was the softest boy I knew, he spent the whole day humming and cooking, every time he walked it looked like he was dancing… he had dark eyes that were full of life and endearment, he was always smiling, always nice and polite, apart from the fact that he cheated on his boyfriend… you’re different”, he turned around to look at him, “You’re caring, but you’re strong, you’re the guy people can lean on, they can go to when they need to be held, when they need help. You can give the hot, cool dude and the soft warm boy without making me think I couldn’t get the other if I need them. You move like military, you’re a protector.”</p><p>Mickey straddled his lap and cupped his face, “Part of my heart will always belong to Dimitri, because 15 year old me needed him, 15 year old me could have really loved him and he died for 15 year old me. Now I need you, and I love you for you.”</p><p>Ian smiled and pulled him down to kiss him.<br/>
“Baby”, he whispered, “You’re really sweet when you want to be, you know that?”<br/>
Mickey shrugged, “Don’t tell anyone. I've got a reputation to lose”<br/>
Ian smiled and kissed him again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Summertime</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Terrified of what I'd be<br/>As a kid from what I've seen<br/>Every single day when people try<br/>And put the pieces back together<br/>Just to smash them down<br/>Turn my headphones up real loud<br/>I don't think I need them now<br/>'Cause you stopped the noise<br/>'Til we find our way in the dark and out of harm<br/>You can run away with me anytime you want</p><p>- Summertime by My Chemical Romance</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mickey went into Mr Field’s office without knocking.<br/>
“Mr Milkovich”, Angus said and stood up.<br/>
“Yeah, cut the crap, sit down Angus”, Mickey said and flopped down in the chair in front of Mr Field’s desk.</p><p>“Do you want me to fire the latest security detail?”, he asked, that was the usual reason for Mickey’s appearance in his office.<br/>
“No. But it is about him. Do you know where everyone of our men is right now? You know, what deals and corners they’re working? Border-runs, high society crack parties, street selling in the southside, the pimps all that shit?”</p><p>Angus looked at him confused, “I don’t have this kind of information, it’s not my responsibility.”<br/>
“You’re head of security.”<br/>
“Yes, I don’t coordinate the drug runs, Mickey. But I can get the information, I know how. Who are we talking about?”<br/>
“Gallagher, but not Ian, younger. He started selling in the streets as a Teenager and now was supposed to run some drugs over the border.”<br/>
“A first name maybe?”<br/>
“Uhm, fuck, I think it started with a C… Corton, Clayton… I don’t know. C. Gallagher, there won’t be so many of them running for us, right?”</p><p>“I will do my best. Is this younger Gallagher in any relation with your bodyguard.”<br/>
“His brother. Another thing, Angus”, he leaned over the table, “If you ever again try to make Ian leave or talk shit about me in front of him, I present your dick-taking ass to my father, are we clear?”<br/>
“I-“<br/>
“Are we fucking clear?”, Mickey repeated.<br/>
Angus swallowed hard, “Crystal clear”<br/>
“Good”, Mickey smiled and got up, “Tell me when Sandy’s plane is supposed to land next week as soon as you know it.”, he said while going to the door, “I want to know where the Gallagher is by next Friday latest.”<br/>
“Of course.”</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>Mickey’s birthday came around which only meant one thing worth mentioning: Sandy came.</p><p>Sandy was Mickey’s favourite cousin (and he had a lot), when they were young, they used to fuck up all kind of shit. First time of getting high, getting wasted, snorting coke, having really bad trips? They did it together.</p><p>Sandy was his best friend, he was closer to her than to his siblings. Especially because one thing connected them – they were both gay.</p><p>Sandy had told him when she was 12 and she had this huge crush on a friend of hers and she had talked for hours about kissing girls and making them cum under her fingers – which head grossed Mickey out big time.</p><p>Mickey had told her when he was 15 and he had a crush on Dimitri. He talked about him for hours with her, told her about the blowjobs and that he wanted to kiss him. She had encouraged him back then to also suck him off, to just go for it and try – it just never happened.</p><p>When Sandy was 18, she left Chicago and went to another city to go to college. She had convinced her father and Terry that this was absolutely necessary because as a woman she will never have power in the cartel but as scientist with a chemistry degree? She would be able to make mad drugs which would make everyone buy more from them.</p><p>Mickey insisted on being the one who gets Sandy from the airport, alone only with Gallagher.<br/>
“You’ll like her”, Mickey said to him when they were waiting at the airport for her, he was almost trembling with excitement next to Ian, “She’s the most amazing person ever!”<br/>
Ian chuckled, “I’ve almost never seen you this excited.”<br/>
“Can’t help it. I’m fucking excited. We’re gonna party so fucking hard tonight, you really have to take care that I don’t die”, he laughed.<br/>
Ian wasn’t so amused.</p><p>“Hey, lighten up, freckles. She’s the only one who knows I’m gay. Did you ever wanted to hear me say that you’re my boyfriend?”<br/>
“Yes, I’d like to hear that.”<br/>
“It’s gonna happen in a few minutes, be ready.”</p><p>Ian chuckled, “Maybe this will be fun after all.”</p><p>After a few more minutes Sandy finally came walking towards them, they greeted each other with a hug and wide grins.<br/>
“Fucking finally a decent person again, I tell you those bitches at college? Fucking pussies, Four shots of Tequila and they’re gone I’m so glad to be back. We’re gonna party tonight, I’ve brought some really cool party favours”, she smirked, then finally acknowledged Ian’s presence, “You’re new.”</p><p>“Yeah, this is Ian he’s my new security detail, who will make sure we don’t die tonight.”, Ian explained, and Sandy just nodded.<br/>
“Nice, as long as he ain’t a buzzkill.”<br/>
Mickey grinned, “He is a little bit, but only because he loves me”<br/>
Sandy looked at him with wide eyes and Mickey nodded.<br/>
“He’s my boyfriend.”</p><p>“Holy fuck, you’ve got yourself a boyfriend, fucking finally, and didn’t tell me about it? And he’s hot”, she checked him out the slightest bit, “Good job, Mick.” </p><p>Ian looked from her to Mickey and back, he didn’t expect this kind of teenage-behaviour from them.</p><p>“Don’t look like that Ian, Sandy’s gayer than I am she didn’t really check you out.”<br/>
“Gayer than you? I don’t think that’s possible Mick”, Ian said smugly.<br/>
“Fuck you”, Mickey laughed and then pushed his cousin and boyfriend to the exit.</p><p>“I need to tell you about this really hot chick I’ve met, by the way.”, Sandy said when they were in the car again.<br/>
“I thought you’re fucking your professor.”<br/>
“Yeah, but just for the grades. This new chick works at a college bar, so fucking hot. I did her in our laboratory.” <br/>
“Really?”<br/>
Sandy nodded, “She’s into roleplaying.”<br/>
“Oh yeah sure, that explains it”, Mickey laughs.</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>Ian enjoyed seeing and exploring new sides on Mickey. He wasn’t sure about this new teenage-side that came out when he spent time with Sandy, but it was nice seeing him this happy and excited about everything. He seemed so carefree talking to her, the usual need to hold back and hide, like when he talked with his family, was gone.</p><p>“Dating the bodyguard”, Sandy grinned, they were in Mickey’s room, each occupied one of the small sofas, “That’s a bit cliché though, isn’t it?”<br/>
Mickey chuckled, “Well, I just had my bodyguards suck me off before, he’s… more, you know?”<br/>
“He your… how did you call that bullshit? Random love?”<br/>
“Yeah, random love. He’s it, you know? Just falling in love without planning it, without developing a crush first and then having to get to know him. It’s what I wanted.”</p><p>“Oh, he made you soft”, Sandy grinned.<br/>
“Fuck off”, Mickey laughed, “If anything he made me fucking sober”<br/>
“Sober? You?”<br/>
“Well, not fully. But he made me stop using all the time no matter the time of day.”<br/>
“Why?”<br/>
“He likes me when I’m sober. I think he’s afraid I’d be fucking addicted and overdose or some shit.”</p><p>“Mhm, so fucking romantic”, Sandy grinned smugly and started laughing, “You’re his bitch.”<br/>
“Nah”, Mickey shook his head, “I? His bitch? I’ll show you something”, Mickey sat up, “Hey, Gallagher”, he called.</p><p>A second later Ian entered the room, “Yes?”<br/>
“Could you go to the kitchen and get us some snacks?”<br/>
“Sure, anything else?”<br/>
“Whatever you can carry regarding alcohol.”<br/>
“Of course.”, Ian said and wanted to leave<br/>
“And Gallagher”<br/>
“Yes?”  <br/>
“A kiss”<br/>
Ian smirked, “You get it with the rest of the stuff”, he said and left.</p><p>Mickey smiled at Sandy, who looked impressed.<br/>
“Nice”<br/>
“Yeah, I usually don’t make him do that.”<br/>
“You just make him fuck you”<br/>
“He wants to do that.”, Mickey shrugged, “He loves me, and he likes it when I boss him around.”<br/>
“Kinky”</p><p>After a few minutes Ian came back with snacks and alcohol, he placed everything on the small table between the sofas.<br/>
“Thanks, Freckles”, Mickey smiled, Ian leaned down to him and kissed him sweetly, “No lock the door, take that stupid jacket off and sit your ass down with us”</p><p>Ian nodded, locked the door, took the jacket off, Mickey got up from the sofa and made Ian sit down, so he could then sit down on him and stretch his legs out over the edge of the sofa.<br/>
“Well, look at you romantic bitches”, Sandy smirked and lit a cigarette for herself, “So, Ian, d’you got any hot sisters?”<br/>
“I’ve got sisters, I even have a sister that likes girls, as her brother I don’t really think she’s hot though.”<br/>
“You got a picture? I could use a Chicago flirt now that I’m here again.”<br/>
“You’re only staying for like four days”, Mickey reminded her and leaned over the table to snatch the cigarette from her.<br/>
“You can have a lot of sex in four days, Mick”, Sandy winked.<br/>
“Oh, I know, trust me”, Mickey smirked and kissed Ian’s cheek.</p><p>Sandy laughed and Ian got his phone out to show her a picture of his sister Debbie.<br/>
“She’s cute”, Sandy said smirking, “Invite her to come with us to the clubs tonight, yeah?”</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>The next day, in the afternoon Sandy and Mickey were alone in his room again.<br/>
“That Debbie is a bomb in bed”, Sandy said, “Those New York dykes just can’t keep up with the hood girls, I tell you.”<br/>
“Good to know. When will you finally come back full time?”</p><p>Sandy scoffed, “I’m not coming back, Mick.”<br/>
“What?”, Mickey sat up, they were lying on his bed while passing a joint, “What is that supposed to mean?”<br/>
“This is my home and I like it here and you are here”, Sandy said and sighed, “But out there that’s freedom, Mick. No cartels, no bodyguards, no police and moles and rats and shit. No hiding. I can make out with a bunch of girls in the open and the worst thing that could happen is a jealous ex bitch slapping me. No Terry, no homophobic murders… I mean, of course they exist there too, but they’re not with me the entire time.”</p><p>“Huh”, Mickey mumbled and lay back down, “Life’s more fun with you here though.”<br/>
“Yeah, you know how else life is more fun? When you’re actually able to live. How you want. You’ve got a hot boyfriend and you can’t even look at him for too long outside of this room. And… after Dimitri, I bet you’re scared shitless for his safety the entire time.”</p><p>Mickey nodded slowly, “I am. I don’t want anything to happen to him.”</p><p>“Then leave.”, Sandy said sincerely, “Do it like me, say you want to go to college far away, think of some excuse and piss off, don’t look back. Take the ginger with you.”<br/>
Mickey bit his bottom lip and pushed the thought around in his head.</p><p>“You think they’d let me leave?”<br/>
“You’re the youngest brother out of three. You use their drugs without paying for them and you are called uncontrollable, your dad would be glad to ship you off to somewhere where you wouldn’t be his problem anymore apart from a monthly allowance.”</p><p>“I could come to you”, Mickey whispered while staring at the ceiling going through hundreds of possibilities in his head.</p><p>“Yes, you could live with me or in another fucking country, just get out of your dad’s eyes.”<br/>
“Wow… that’s a great idea… I could do that… but what about Ian? He has like 10 siblings here, he can’t just leave them. I can’t ask him to leave them.”<br/>
“You can suggest it and he can decide on his own, he’s a grown man, Mickey. And telephones fucking exists… skype, all that shit.”</p><p>Mickey nodded, all his life he had thought he would have to marry a woman eventually to please his dad and work for the cartel with his brothers… but this was a new possibility, a silver lining.</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  </p><p>Sandy left after four days (she did spent a lot of this time having sex with Ian’s sister) and Mickey was still thinking about her suggestion about getting out.</p><p>He aimlessly wandered around the house until he met Mr Field in a hallway.<br/>
“Ah, Mr Milkovich, I was looking for you. I have the information you asked for, regarding Gallagher.”, he said lowly, obviously nervous.<br/>
“Good, your office, now.”</p><p>They went to Mr Field’s office and Mickey sat down in front of the desk, waiting for Angus to get a file out he put together, he handed it to Mickey.</p><p>“Carl Gallagher is his name. Father and mother are both costumers and have been in jail numerous times, the youngest brother once almost overdosed on cocaine, the oldest sister was at fault. Another brother is known as alcoholic but from the children only Carl Gallagher is deeper involved with the drug business.”<br/>
“Yeah, yeah, drop the background information, where is he?”<br/>
“A border run, Mexico-Texas.” <br/>
“A fucking long border run, are you sure he is okay?”<br/>
“He checked in with us last week, everything’s under control.”<br/>
“Why hasn’t his family heard from him in so long?”<br/>
“Orders. He is working closely with a Mexican cartel, making new deals about supplies and business matters. Highly confidential. He is not allowed to have contact with anyone besides us.”</p><p>Mickey shook his head, “When is this finished?”<br/>
“Could take some more time.”<br/>
“I want him back here, sent someone else. He isn’t alone in this right?”<br/>
“He is part of a task-group for this.”<br/>
“Get him back, put him into less time consuming and dangerous jobs.”</p><p>Angus looked at him with raised eyebrows.<br/>
“Mr Milkovich, I don’t have the power to do that.”<br/>
“We both know you are one of the biggest forces around here. You can make this happen.”<br/>
“Your father oversees this project himself.”<br/>
“Does my father care if Carl Gallagher is doing the job?”<br/>
“I don’t know.”<br/>
“Then let me tell you: He doesn’t. You will get Carl Gallagher back to Chicago, you’re a smart man, Angus, you’ll come up with something.”</p><p>With that the conversation was over for him, Mickey got up.<br/>
“Mickey”, Angus said, he came around the desk and put his hands on his shoulders, “I can’t just do this, he will get suspicious…”<br/>
“Say you need him for a project.”<br/>
“The only way I could get him here is if I destroy your father’s trust in him. And that will end with his death.”<br/>
“If anything happens to any Gallagher around here, you’re gonna be a dead man, got it?”</p><p>“Mickey, I will be dead man if I sabotage this operation.”, he begged him and cupped his cheeks, Mickey looked at him weirded out by the gesture, “Don’t I mean anything to you?”<br/>
“Angus drop it”, Mickey shook his head and pushed his hands away from his face, “We had sex a few times, two years ago. Get over it. I tell you something: Pull this thing with Carl Gallagher off and you’ll be a free man.”<br/>
“Pardon me?”<br/>
“I’m leaving this place. But only when Ian leaves the cartel too and he won’t until his brother is home. And when I’m gone, you won’t ever again have to go behind my dad’s back again. No more weird requests, firing bodyguards, coming up with excuses for where I am.”<br/>
“This is the last time you use me like that?”<br/>
“Yeah. If you pull it off it will be the last time.”, Mickey nodded and left the office.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. In Joy and Sorrow</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>In joy and sorrow my home's in your arms<br/>In world so hollow<br/>It is breaking my heart<br/>In joy and sorrow my home's in your arms<br/>In world so hollow<br/>It is breaking my heart </p><p>- In Joy and Sorrow by HIM</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A few days later Mickey got a secret note from Mr Field “C. Gallagher comes back next week”</p><p>He called Ian into his room in the evening.<br/>“Come here”, the Milkovich grinned sitting on his bed, he patted the blanket next to him.<br/>Ian locked the door and walked up to Mickey’s bed, he crawled next to him and kissed him shortly. </p><p>“I’ve got news for you.”, Mickey said. Ian looked at him confused while Mickey took the file from next to him and gave it to Ian, “I found your brother.”</p><p>Ian’s eyes went wide, He opened the file with an open mouth.<br/>“How did you?”<br/>“I told Angus to find him. He’s doing some important diplomatic border run or something. Angus makes sure he comes back by next week.”<br/>Ian looked at him and was so relieved he just fell against him and hugged him tightly, “Fuck, this is the first thing I hear about Carl in months.”<br/>“Yeah, he wasn’t allowed to have contact with your family for this operation. Some overly complicated shit.”<br/>“And Mr Field gets him back without something happening to him?”, Ian looked him in the eyes.<br/>“I said to him if anything happens to your brother, he’s gonna be next, so… I guess he’s doing his best to get him out of there without casualties.”</p><p>Ian smiled and kissed him again, “Fuck you make so happy right now, you can’t even imagine.”<br/>Mickey smiled back, “Yeah… and when he’s back you can finally stop worrying and… leave the cartel.”</p><p>Ian looked at him confused, “What?... Do you… are you breaking up with me? Do you want me to leave?”<br/>“No!”, Mickey said quickly and put one hand on his cheek, “I just want to know you safe, Ian, I love you.”<br/>“I love you too”, he could cry of joy right now, he was grinning over his whole face, looking more like Dimitri than ever.</p><p>“Yeah and… I thought, well… Sandy and I talked about something.”<br/>“About what?”, he asked, he didn’t expect the topic change.<br/>“She left the city and can live freely with her sexuality in New York… she said, I could do the same.”<br/>Ian raised his eyebrows, “You want to go to New York?”<br/>“Not necessarily New York. Even though that’s were Sandy is and I’d like to be around her again. I just want to leave. I want to kiss someone without looking for guns first.”<br/>“With that president that place will be hard to find.”</p><p>Mickey rolled his eyes, “I just want out. And I think my dad will let me go to some other city, so at least he doesn’t have the rebel-son in front of everyone anymore.”<br/>“Well… if that’s what you want, Mick… it’s for the best, I’m sure… but I’ll miss you.”</p><p>Mickey shook his head, “No, you don’t get it, Gallagher, I want you to come with me.”<br/>“With you?”, Ian asked, “To New York?”<br/>“Wherever the fuck we want to go. Hell, maybe dad’s gonna give me the money to live in fucking London or some shit, I don’t know. I just want you to be there with me.”, he said smiling.</p><p>He expected Ian to be just as happy as he was about this, but Ian only bit his lip.<br/>“Mickey… that sounds nice, it really does, but… I always planned to finally join the Army when I found Carl.”<br/>“The army?”, Mickey asked with raised eyebrows.<br/>“Yes, it’s what I’ve trained to do my whole life, Mick. It’s what I always wanted.”<br/>“Bu-But… What”, Mickey stuttered perplexed, “But that’s bullshit!”</p><p>“It’s my dream, Mickey…”<br/>“It’s a bullshit dream!”<br/>Ian sighed, “Listen, I love you, I really do, but… I’ve known you for a few months I wanted to join the military for years. It doesn’t mean we can’t be together.”<br/>“Yes, it does.”<br/>“No, it doesn’t.”<br/>“Then why did you bring it up as counter-argument when I said we could leave together?”</p><p>Ian looked at him conflicted.</p><p>“Babe-“<br/>“Don’t call me your fucking babe!”<br/>“Mick…”, Ian looked at him sincerely, “I want to be with my family, I want to be with you, and I want to join the military. Tell me how I can have all of it and I do everything you say.”<br/>“You can’t go to the Army and be with, shit if I wanted to date a murder, I would date someone from the fucking cartel.”</p><p>“Soldiers aren’t murders.”<br/>“Oh really? I have Netflix, Ian, I watch documentation sometimes. And even if not, what kind of life would that be? I would have to stay here because you want to be with your family, which means we have to keep being secretive and looking over our shoulders forever and then you wouldn’t even be here most of the time.”</p><p>Ian looked at him for a minute, thinking about his options, “You’re right, you can’t stay here… I want you to be safe and happy Mick.”<br/>“I want to be safe and happy with you.”<br/>Ian reached his hand out to touch Mickey’s cheek, but Mickey scooted away.</p><p>“Well, I do have a lot of siblings and a phone… I suppose I don’t have to be physically living with them… not when I could live with you, right?”, he smiled lightly, “But the military is my dream though, Mick.”<br/>Mickey shook his head, “Then stay with your family, I don’t want to waste my life with an army dude”, he spat and scooted further away from him.</p><p>“Mick, it’s my dream!”<br/>“And what about my dream?”, Mickey asked getting louder, “What about my dream of being in love with someone, getting married and living together?”<br/>“Who says we can’t have both of our dreams with each other? I come with you and we can be living together- “</p><p>“But we wouldn’t be living together, you would be gone all the time! And when you would be home you would have PTSD and fucking flinch and freak out about every back-firing car! And then you would end up dead and if people would ask me ‘what was he like’ I wouldn’t have an answer because I wouldn’t even know you anymore because you were never there! And while I’m at home alone I get bitter and angry and then we’re fighting all the time when you’re actually home for a change and I’ll be afraid every night that you might be dying right now and I’ll cheat on you to get rid of that fear and instead I will feel incredibly bad about it and guilty and then I will push that guilt to you and be even angrier with you and then we break up and I wasted half a fucking life because your dream is it to run through a desert and kill innocents!”</p><p>Ian was shocked by Mickey’s words.</p><p>The Gallagher just stared at him for a long minute and then just stood up and left the room.</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>A week later</p><p>Ian had thought long about Mickey’s words. They obviously had vastly different pictures about the military… and even he had to admit that’s Mickey’s picture and fear was probably the more realistic one.</p><p>He had thought a lot about Mickey’s proposal to live together too. They could leave and be together, have their own place and just love and live freely without being afraid to get murdered by drug lord the whole time.</p><p>It sounded like everything Ian wished for whenever he looked at Mickey. He would go with him, no matter where. He would even marry him if Mickey wanted to… but he had wanted to join the military since he had been a Teenager, he didn’t even question it anymore it was a goal he just had to archive.</p><p>His brother had always been against it, and now Mickey too…</p><p>But why should he put his dream aside so Mickey can live his?</p><p>After a week of rolling those thoughts in his head – Mickey refused to speak to him – Carl was finally back, which meant a big party at the Gallagher house.</p><p>Around midnight he sat on the front porch when Lip came to him.<br/>“Hey man, what are you doing here?”<br/>“Just thinking”, Ian shrugged.<br/>Lip sat next to him and lit a cigarette, “Now that Carl is back you can finally leave that stupid drug hole.”<br/>“Yep, that’s what I’m thinking about…”</p><p>Lip nodded, “So what’s next? Army?”<br/>Ian shrugged, “Lip, can I ask you something?”<br/>“Sure”</p><p>Ian hesitated, he looked at the dark street before them, “If you love someone and they love you… but they want you to give up your dreams… would you stay with them? I mean, whose dreams are more important?”</p><p>Lip blew out the smoke of his cigarette and sighed, “Depends”, he said, “If the dream is something as stupid as going to the military, by all means, your boyfriend’s dreams are more important.”<br/>“Lip, I’m serious…”<br/>“Me too”, Lip said and looked at his brother, “What’s going on, since when do you even have a boyfriend?”</p><p>Ian sighed and looked at him, “It’s a secret…”<br/>“Oh shit”, Lip gasped, “You’re banging someone from the cartel!”<br/>“Worse…”<br/>“Worse? What do mean with worse? Are you banging someone from a rival cartel?”<br/>Ian shook his head, “Worse.”, and when Lip only looked at him confused, he whispered, “I’m dating the homophobic boss’s gay son.”</p><p>“Oh… shit”, Lip said and looked at the street again, “Fuck… I changed my mind, you should leave as fast as you can to fucking Afghanistan.”<br/>“No, I love him”, Ian nodded, “Yeah, more than I ever loved anyone before. I think, he could be the one…”<br/>“The one?”, Lip asked and started laughing, “Yeah right, you know what’s coming after the one? The next one.”</p><p>Ian shook his head, “That’s maybe how you live. I want a relationship. I want security, I want my own house, my own life with him.”<br/>“White picket fence, a dog and a handful kids?”, Lip asked, still finding the thought hilarious.<br/>“Maybe”, Ian shrugged, “And he wants it too. He even briefly mentioned marriage. In the middle of a rant, but still.”<br/>“You want to marry a homophobic drug lord’s son? Shit, better date the paedophile fake Muslim again. Ian, seriously, run.”</p><p>“Lip stay serious. I love him, he loves me and… he plans to leave. To New York to his cousin or wherever. He asked me to come with him.”<br/>“And you said, ‘No I’d rather die in the military than to fulfil the romantic fantasy, we both have, with you’?”<br/>Ian rolled his eyes, “You should meet him, I’m sure you’d be great friends.”<br/>“Ian, really, is that what you said?”<br/>“No… yes… I don’t know. I always wanted to go to the military and he just called my dreams ‘bullshit’ and said he could date someone from the cartel if he wanted to date a murderer.”</p><p>“So, he’s saying ‘military or me’?”<br/>“Yeah, essentially. I said, we could leave together, and I could still go to the Army, but he said no. He ranted about how I would never be there, and I would end up dead and he’d end up cheating on me and that he would waste half his life with someone who is never there.”<br/>“Well… is he wrong?”<br/>“I don’t know… is he? Are my dreams bullshit?”<br/>“Yes, definitely, but I’m saying that as your brother who doesn’t want you to blow your head off in some desert.”, Lip said, “I’m also saying leave that dude because his dad will kill you.”<br/>“So, your advise is to give up both of my dreams and his dream?”</p><p>“Have you ever thought about having a dream that doesn’t end in your potential death?”<br/>“Mickey wouldn’t end in death. We could leave for New York, have a nice life”, he shrugged, “We could get married, adopt three children and a dog, I could be happy with that. But I will always ask myself, what if? I will become bitter and angry at him for not letting me live my dream.”<br/>“Or you will be thankful that you chose the suburban life with someone you love instead of dying in a desert.”<br/>“Yeah, maybe… By the way, in case you want to keep saying I should leave Mickey – he is the reason Carl is back.”, Ian said and got up to go back inside, “You would be glad to have him as brother-in-law.”</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>Mickey still refused to talk to Ian or call him to his room. He had locked himself in his room.</p><p>Ian was knocking against his door.<br/>“Mickey, please let me in, I want to talk about it.”, he said for the hundredth time, but no answer.</p><p>He heard various noises from inside, but Mickey wasn’t willing to open the door.</p><p>Ian leaned his head against the door and sighed deeply.</p><p>“Mr Gallagher?”, a voice appeared behind him.<br/>Ian quickly turned around and straightened his back, Iggy Milkovich looked him up and down confused, “What are you doing?”<br/>“I’m sorry, sir.”<br/>“That wasn’t an answer at all. What’s up with Mickey?”<br/>“He locked his door and refuses to talk to anyone. I heard weird noises from inside, can’t tell what’s going on though.”</p><p>“You are his bodyguard and he just locked you out? Are you fucking kidding me?”<br/>Ian swallowed hard and looked at the ground ashamed. Iggy wasn’t his father of course, he also wasn’t the oldest Milkovich brother, he was fairly stupid, everyone knew that. But that didn’t mean, he couldn’t be dangerous, or at least have Ian fired.</p><p>Iggy knocked on the door.<br/>“Mickey open that fucking door before I kick it in”, Iggy said loudly, “I’m warning you, you will have to jerk off without a door in the future.”</p><p>After a while Mickey actually opened the door, “The fuck do you want? What do you care if I have my door locked? I’m not a little child, dickwart”<br/>“Your security detail must have access to your room at all times, you know that. What are you doing in there? Are you having an orgy again?”</p><p>Mickey rolled his eyes, “You were the one with the orgy, Iggy, not me.”<br/>“Oh, right…”, Iggy smirked, then shook his head, “What are you doing?”<br/>“I’m looking for my fucking drugs, now leave me alone.”<br/>“What, did you get so high you hid your own drugs and can’t find them anymore?... Well, we’ve all been there.”</p><p>Ian tried ridiculously hard not to judge this statement.<br/>“I didn’t hide them. He did.”, Mickey pointed at Ian.<br/>Iggy looked at him with raised eyebrows.<br/>“Your brother asked me to hide them.”<br/>“And now I want them back, so get them fucking back!”<br/>“And how am I supposed to get them back if I’m not allowed in your room anymore?”, Ian asked.</p><p>Iggy rolled his eyes, “This is too stupid for me, just get new drugs, dude. I have to go, dad wanted to talk to me and Collin about something regarding Field. Gallagher, get his drugs back.”, Iggy shook his head and left the room.</p><p>When the door closed, Mickey let himself fall on one of the couches.<br/>“Mick-“<br/>“I want weed, Gallagher, get it or get out”, Mickey said tiredly.</p><p>Ian sighed, “Close your eyes”<br/>“I’m not a fucking child-“<br/>“Mick, close your eyes and turn around. You asked me to hide this shit to get away from it.”</p><p>Mickey bit his bottom lip and turned around.<br/>Ian sighed and went into a neighbouring room, a small walk-in closet. It was ridiculous to Ian that each of the Milkoviches had one of these, especially since Mickey seemed to wear exactly 5 kinds of outfits in turns. He pushed one of the ceiling tiles away and felt around until he got the box with Mickey’s drugs. He took a rolled up joint out and put the box away again.</p><p>He returned to Mickey and wordlessly held it up to Mickey’s lips.<br/>Mickey opened his eyes again and took the joint, Ian lit it for him and then sat next to him on the couch.</p><p>“Why do you refuse talking to me?”, Ian asked, “How are we supposed to talk this out if you lock me out?”</p><p>Mickey shrugged and sighed, “It’s fucking embarrassing, Gallagher.”<br/>“What is embarrassing?”, he asked confused.<br/>Mickey scoffed, “I asked you to leave with me and you said you’d rather go to the army. Then I had a tantrum. Like a fucking naïve child.”</p><p>“Mickey…”<br/>“Fuck off, with your <em>Mickey</em>.”, Mickey said sharply, “It was a stupid idea, we don’t know each other for that long anyways, right? Who am I to ask you to give up on your stupid dream… even though it’s bullshit.”</p><p>“Mickey”, Ian said again and took his hand, “I love you. It wasn’t a stupid idea. I’d like to go away with you and be really together with you. You deserve that kind of freedom in your life.”<br/>“You’d just rather go to the army and die.”<br/>“I’d rather go with you and enlist into the army.”<br/>“Yeah, but you can’t have both, because if you get both, I only get half of what I want, if even, and that’s not really fair, is it?”</p><p>Ian sighed and leaned back into the couch.<br/>“Why do you even want to join the military?”, Mickey asked eventually, “Why choose a job that leads to you being away all the time and increases the chance of you dying and or getting PTSD in such extreme ways?”</p><p>Ian looked at him, he was still holding his hand, “Patriotism?”, he offered as reason.<br/>“Patriotism? Dying for the country?”, Mickey looked at him and shook his head, “Our president would like to take your marriage rights away again, the vice president wants to put you into conversion therapy where they fuck and electrocute the gay out of you. For decades, the military banned gay folks from enlisting and punished soldiers for being gay. The country doesn’t give a shit about soldiers' PTSD or about veterans living in the streets. This country starts wars all the time for pretty much no reason and kills innocents. And your number one reason to join this shit is patriotism? You’re dumber than I thought” </p><p>Ian sighed and looked at him, he held his hand tighter, “Growing up”, he mumbled, “Everything was chaos. My mom and dad were disasters, bad apart and worse together. Nothing was structured in my life, there was no order, nothing. You could fall asleep in your room without knowing if you would have to leave your home the next day. Going to the army was this… goal I had, the thing I could hold on to. It promised structure, order. Finally knowing what to do, having stability. That’s what I want. Is that dumb?”</p><p>Mickey put the joint in the ashtray and scooted closer, “No, wanting stability isn’t dumb. Thinking that there will be stability in the middle of a battlefield with people dying around you the whole time, that’s… holding on to a old picture of a better reality, if you ask me.”<br/>“Are you a shrink now?”<br/>“Are you a rehab nurse now?”</p><p>Ian looked at their hands. He wanted this, he wanted to be with Mickey, he knew that… but saying goodbye to old dreams was hard. </p><p>“I can give you stability, Ian”, Mickey almost sounded pleading, “Listen, I don’t ask you to marry me and live in some house with a yard with three children and a dog. I ask you to come with me wherever we want to go and just be together with me. Get a job that actually makes you feel good and gives you stability, take me on fucking dates, kiss me in the open street – all that shit. We can build a stable life just for us, Ian, no drugs and killings, no murder and beatings, no fear.”</p><p>They looked each other in the eyes. Mickey was creating a dream life in Ian’s head with his words. It sounded like paradise. And he tried to somehow connect that life, that Mickey lay out in front of him for the taking, with a military career… but it didn’t work. He could see himself leaving Mickey over and over again to go to war and Mickey being sick with fear and sadness, and when he was back he would have PTSD and they would fight and he would make Mickey cry so many times… especially when he wouldn’t come home one day, he could see Mickey breaking down in a cold, empty house.</p><p>At that thought a tear crept out of his eye and ran down his cheek, where Mickey caught it with his thumb and wiped it away.<br/>Ian didn’t have to explain why he was crying, he just pulled Mickey into a sweet, slow kiss.</p><p>“I want a future with you, Mick, I want it so badly”, he whispered, leaning his forehead against Mickey’s, “Just give me a few days to think this through a few times, okay? I need to… decide for myself whether I go to the army or not, yeah? Just a few days but no matter what I love you so much and I just want to see you happy.”</p><p>Mickey nodded, “Okay”, he whispered, “I don’t want you to give up your dreams just for me, if you do then because you have a new dream… with me.”</p><p>Ian wrapped his arms around him and kissed him deeply.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Lose you tonight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I was waiting for you<br/>Waiting for all my life<br/>And I've been crying for you<br/>Dying for you all this time</p><p>- Lose You Tonight by HIM</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Three days later</p><p>The members of the cartel including the Milkovich children had to gather in the court room.<br/>
“Do you know who this is about?”, Mandy asked while they were waiting in the cold room. Mickey hated this room, the spot where so many people died… where Dimitri died in front of him.<br/>
“No clue. Ask Iggy”</p><p>Iggy and Collin each stood next to their father, Mandy looked at them and then just shook her head, “We’ll see in a minute anyways, right?”<br/>
Mickey nodded, he looked behind him to Gallagher, who looked at him and for only a second let the smallest smile appear on his lips. Mickey smiled back and then turned around again.</p><p>Ian still owed him a final answer. Mickey had already talked to his father about leaving for college outside of Chicago, well, he had tried at least, Terry had only told him “I don’t have time for your moods right now, make an appointment if you wanna talk to me”</p><p>Yes, Mickey had to make an appointment to talk to his own father – but if Terry and Ian would agree to his plan, it was worth every obstacle.</p><p>But Mickey wasn’t prepared for the obstacle entering the room.</p><p>Angus Field, head of security, was dragged into the court room, his hands bound in front of him, he was shoved to the ground, so he was kneeling in front of Terry.</p><p>Mickey suppressed a gasp.</p><p>“You betrayed me, Angus”, Terry growled, “Men”, he shouted around the room, getting everyone’s attention, “Mr Field has been my most trusted for two years but now he betrayed us!”</p><p>Mickey could feel guilt coming over him in waves, he shuddered. He almost felt the presence of Carl Gallagher in the lower ranks of members in the back of the room. Was Angus here because he got Carl out? Was this Mickey’s fault? He knew the answer to it without Terry having to say it.</p><p>“You know about the border project. An alliance with a big cartel in Mexico, access to their sources, exclusive loyalty, all that for the mere price of one of my sons being married to a beautiful girl”, Terry said and put his hand on Collins back, who stood up straight and looked over the crowd with a similar sense of authority their father did. </p><p>“And the negotiations went fine, didn’t they? We almost made it and then Mr Field all of a sudden pulled a man out behind my back! Sabotaging the whole operation, you could have ruined this deal for all of us.”</p><p>“Mr Milkovich please, it isn’t ruined the negotiations are still-“<br/>
Terry punched him with the handle of the gun and made him fall to the ground, “Did I allow you to speak, rat?”</p><p>Mickey couldn’t move, he had to tell his own brain to breathe because otherwise he would have just stopped.</p><p>Terry said some more words that just turned into one big noise for Mickey.</p><p>“On these grounds I sentence your to death for treason”, Terry said in the end, without a doubt feeling like a king, “Now, speak your last words.”</p><p>Angus looked up at him, looking for the right words, than his eyes shifted to Mickey, who stared at him, and his eyes turned hateful.</p><p>“My last words”, Angus said and looked up at Terry, “Your son is the greatest evil in this room, more than you even. Your son kills everyone that gets close to him, he is a dirty fucking f- “</p><p>Terry shot him dead before he could finish his sentence.</p><p>Mickey stood there like he was made of solid marble.<br/>
Everyone was silent.</p><p>Terry ordered everyone to leave, “Except you three”, he said to his sons, “You come with me.”</p><p>Mickey swallowed hard and glanced at Ian, who was just as shocked as he was, Mickey quickly followed his brothers out of the room.</p><p>They gathered in a kind of conference room.</p><p>“So, who of you did Angus speak of?”, Terry asked slowly.<br/>
The three men stared at the table in front of them.<br/>
“Really? No one? Was he addressing some bastard I don’t know about? Collin, what did you have to do with Angus?”</p><p>“Nothing, dad. I mean… I talked to him because of some cartel things sometimes sure, because of his position. But that’s it, I swear.”</p><p>Terry grunted and looked at Iggy.<br/>
“You made me responsible for security matters. I had meetings with him all the time, talked about if the security details were doing their job, we talked about possible rats in the cartel and if the feds had anything on us. But we remained professional, I don’t think he would perceive me as evil.”</p><p>That only left Mickey. All three were staring at the youngest now.</p><p>“Mickey?”, Terry growled, “What did you do?”</p><p>Mickey bit his lip and looked up, “Well… you know… people hate me”, he tried to shrug it off, “I had him fire my security more often than you and made his job harder by always running away… I would hate me too if I was head of security.”</p><p>Iggy and Collin found this quite reasonable.<br/>
“He’s right, dad. Angus was just bitter in the end. He tried to sabotage our most important mission, he just wanted to talk shit.”, Collin said.</p><p>“Mickey, did you have anything to do with Filed pulling out this… whatever his name is out of my operation?”<br/>
“No”, Mickey said quickly and then looked from his brothers to his dad, “Come on guys, I don’t know anything about cartel operations. I only take your drugs, you don’t let me into the big business… And that’s good! I mean, you know me, no fucking responsibility, right?”</p><p>“Right… you’re like your mother”, Terry spat, and Mickey pinched the skin on his arm to stay calm when he mentioned his mother, “Good for nothing.”</p><p>“Yeah… I mean, yeah, totally. I’m no use for the cartel. I’m even fucking bad for the cartel, right? Don’t your men always talk about me as, ya know, ‘rebel’ and ‘uncontrollable’? Do you want an uncontrollable kid around your drug business? Sure as fuck not, right?”, Mickey rambled on.</p><p>Iggy was looking at him wide eyes, “Mick, what the hell are you doing?”, he whispered.<br/>
“You are right”, Terry says, “The only thing you can do in this cartel is using without paying.”<br/>
“Yeah, I’m horrible for your business, but I have a solution”, he said and scooted closer to the table on his chair.</p><p>His father seemed interested now, “Are you planning to get your shit together and work for me?”<br/>
“No, that wouldn’t end good, no, uh-uh. Good for nothing and all that, your words. No, I was thinking more of… leaving.”</p><p>Now all three stared at him like he had lost his mind.<br/>
“Like Sandy”, Mickey added quickly, “I go to college or some shit, you send me money so I can live and I’m out of your way. No one will say that you can’t control your son, ever again. Sell it as your idea: ‘I said leave, so he left’ – like that.”</p><p>Terry leaned back in his chair.<br/>
“You leave and don’t bother me again with your rebel-bullshit and all I gotta do is sent you an allowance.”<br/>
“Great idea, dad, we should do that.”, Mickey nodded.<br/>
“And you want to go to Sandy?”<br/>
“For example.”</p><p>Terry was nodding slowly, he looked at the ceiling, thinking.<br/>
“I don’t want cousin-inbreed grandchildren, like your cousin Remy.”<br/>
“I… uhm, I don’t want to go to her to fuck her, dad”, Mickey said and shifted in his seat.<br/>
“Well, you can never know, you’ve always been very close.”</p><p>Mickey pressed his lips together and brushed his knuckles against his nose to not answer this.</p><p>“So, what do you say? I leave, you can stop giving me parts of your valuable time and attention, you give me some money every month and everyone’s fine?”</p><p>Terry looked at him, he looked at Collin, leaned towards him and mumbled something to him, Collin looked at Mickey, bit his bottom lip and nodded to Terry.</p><p>“Okay”, Terry said, “I allow it, but it’s my idea.”<br/>
“Of course.”<br/>
“And no inbreed grandchildren”<br/>
“definitely.”<br/>
“When can you leave?”<br/>
Mickey smirked, “Three weeks tops.”</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>Mickey went back to his room where Gallagher leaned against his door.</p><p>“Mick are you okay?”, Gallagher whispered when Mickey came to him.<br/>
Mickey just wordlessly opened his door and waved Ian inside.</p><p>Mickey let himself fall on the couch and took a deep breath.<br/>
“Mick?”<br/>
Mickey exhaled and then lay down on the couch in a foetal position and just stared into nothingness in front of him.</p><p>“Babe?”, Ian sounded worried, kneeled down in front of him.<br/>
“He said this would happen”, Mickey whispered, “I made him get your brother back and he said, he’s gonna die for this”</p><p>Ian bit his bottom lip lightly and ran his hand through Mickey’s hair.<br/>
“It’s not your-“<br/>
“Don’t say that. It is. It’s just my fault, no one else’s.”</p><p>“Baby…”<br/>
Mickey shook his head, “Shit, fuck, I said it’s gonna be the last time he had to do something for me. I said, he would be a free man after this. He’s right… I am evil. I was the biggest evil in that room.”<br/>
“No, you weren’t. You are a good man.”<br/>
“I’m not-“<br/>
“You are, Mick. You just wanted to help me and bring my brother back.”<br/>
“No… that was completely selfish. Everything I do is selfish. I thought, the faster your brother is back, the faster you can leave the cartel and go away with me.”</p><p>Ian sighed and kissed his cheek.<br/>
“I still think you’re a good person, babes. You just want to live.”<br/>
“He wanted to live too”<br/>
“He hated his life either way. He wanted to use his last breath to out you in front of everyone.”</p><p>Ian looked at his boyfriend who was in the same shell-shocked guilty state he was when Angus was killed. With his dad he had been able to play it cool for a moment, but the shock was back now.</p><p>Ian pushed his hands under Mickey’s body and picked him up from the couch bridal style, only getting a weak protest from the other man.<br/>
Ian carried him to the bed and gently lay him on the mattress, he took his shoes and jacket off and lay down beside him, spooning him and wrapping his arms around him.</p><p>“I love you so much and I will leave with you”, he whispered, “I don’t care if Angus Filed thinks you’re evil, I disagree wholeheartedly. I want to leave with you, and I want to love you and be with you in every sense of the word. I want to have our own place and I want to take you on dates. And one day we’re gonna get married and have children and a dog and buy a house with a garden and all those stuck-up straight neighbours there are gonna judge us so hard but we won’t care because we will have awesome sex all the time while they’re just bitter.”</p><p>Mickey’s heart beat faster, he turned around in Ian’s arms.<br/>
“And the army?”, he whispered hopefully.<br/>
“Fuck the Army”, Ian looked into his eyes, “Why would I want to be away from you and our life all the time for shooting some people in a desert for a president that hates us? I’m gonna get a job where I can actually help people.”<br/>
“Rehab nurse?”<br/>
“No, more like EMT or something like that.”<br/>
“That sounds good”<br/>
Ian smiled and kissed his forehead.</p><p>“But no dog, though, I don’t like dogs.”<br/>
“You don’t like dogs? Why don’t you like dogs?”<br/>
“They’re so much work and you always have to clean up after them.”<br/>
“Okay, what about a cat?”<br/>
“No… little children and a cat? They’re gonna scratch each other.”<br/>
Ian grinned, “How about a hamster?”, he suggested.<br/>
“What about Guinea pigs? We should get Guinea pigs.”</p><p>Ian chuckled, “Okay, Guinea pigs it is.”<br/>
Mickey smiled, “By the way, Terry agreed to let me leave.”<br/>
“Really?”<br/>
“Yeah, so from now on, everything you say about this topic isn’t hypothetical anymore. Are you ready to do this with me?”<br/>
Ian smiled and kissed him, “I’m fucking ready.”</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>A junkie had depts.</p><p>That’s how it starts for many men that end with a one-to-one with a Milkovich.<br/>
Depending on how big the dept was it ended with pain, kidnapping or death. Depending on the dept you would meet any kind of Milkovich from the lost case Remy Milkovich over Terry’s sadistic nieces, violent nephews, bitter bastards to his brothers and sons. You would meet Terry if you a, really fucked up or b, he was in the mood to torture someone, to look someone in the eyes while inflicting all kinds of pain in them. Most of the time it was b.</p><p>It was b for Roger Spikey when he was dragged into a cold room, it was dirty, dimly lit, and soundproof. It smelled like all kinds of stuff no one wanted to think about, the stains on the ground and the walls could come from vomit, shit or blood, Roger tried to not look at them.</p><p>He was tied to a chair when Terry came in. He was in there for a day already, tied to the chair so he wasn’t able to reach the bucket in a corner of the room.</p><p>“So, did something come to mind, Roger? How am I gonna get my money?”, Terry growled.</p><p>“Please Mr Milkovich! I don’t have any, I swear! Let me go and… I-I will think of something, I swear I will get you your money!”</p><p>“You already said that to my nephew months ago, and nothing happened. I don’t like people that don’t pay their depts Roger.”</p><p>He was punching him across the face until Roger coughed and spat blood.</p><p>“Collin”, Terry said to his room who stood by the door, “Bring the pliers.”<br/>
“No, no!”, Roger screamed, “Please no! I-I have information!”<br/>
“Information about what? The police? Feds?”<br/>
“no, b-but one of your bodyguards-“<br/>
“If it’s not about the police or the feds, why would I care?”,<br/>
“He’s a queer!”, Roger spat out.</p><p>Terry stopped.<br/>
“You have a poof working for you, even pay him money!”, he said quickly.<br/>
“Collin”, Terry grunted, “Leave the room”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. I'll let you down</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>But I've been down this road once before and I've stared down the barrel of my heart.<br/>It stopped completely when they took you away, but I guess victims we don't change.<br/>But don't take it from me, because I'll let you down</p><p>- I'll let you down by Frank Iero and the Patience</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mickey and Ian lay in Mickey’s bed.<br/>
Mickey lay on top of the ginger, a smile on his face.</p><p>“Sandy said, we can stay with her for now until we found our own apartment.”, Mickey said.<br/>
Ian ran his hand through Mickey’s hair, “I guess you already have your eye on something?”<br/>
“I looked at a few things I could find on the internet. I have so much fucking time when I’m not too high to move”, he chuckled, “But we’re gonna decide together.”</p><p>Ian grinned at him and kissed him.<br/>
“I hand in my notice tomorrow and next week we’re finally out of this place.”, he whispered, “It sounds almost too good to be true.”<br/>
“Don’t jinx it Gallagher”, Mickey rolled his eyes and pecked his lips.</p><p>“I love you so much”, Ian mumbled, he couldn’t believe how lucky he was whenever he looked into Mickey’s blue eyes, “We’re gonna have a good life together, right?”<br/>
“Of course, we will.”, Mickey bit his bottom lip, “Are you having doubts?”</p><p>Ian shook his head, “No, I want this, I want you.”<br/>
“And the Army?”<br/>
Ian shook his head, “I chose you, Mick. The Army would be a big adventure, but what good would that do me if I could lose you through it?”<br/>
Mickey smiled, “Well, if you ever want more adventure than living as a gay couple in New York, we can always make vacation in Texas.”<br/>
Ian laughed and pulled him into a light kiss.</p><p>Ian gently pushed Mickey into the mattress, so he was on top of him now.<br/>
“I have to go now.”<br/>
“Not yet”, Mickey asked and ran his hands down Ian’s shoulders.<br/>
“I have to go home, I haven’t explained the whole thing to my family yet. And I have to write a notice.”</p><p>“Boring”<br/>
“I know, babe, but it has to be done.”<br/>
“You can do what has to be done after you’ve done me”, he smirked.<br/>
“I will do you for the rest of my life”, Ian smiled down at him, “I have to do the boring stuff that has to be done now so I can do that.”</p><p>“Okay”, Mickey sighed.<br/>
Ian pecked his lips, “Good night Mickey”, he whispered and got up from the bed.<br/>
“Good night. Text me tomorrow after you handed it in your notice, yeah?”<br/>
“Okay”, Ian took his things and quietly left the room, smiling at Mickey when he was at the door.</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>Mickey woke up late the next day and just rolled around in his bed until he was feeling like getting up.<br/>
After a big breakfast he stayed in his room and continued to plan his and Ian’s trip to Sandy next week.</p><p>He kept looking at his phone, waiting for Ian’s text.</p><p>He had never cared what happened to the bodyguards he let Angus fire. Mickey didn’t have anything to do with the cartel, so all the information his security could gather from being around him at all times was more or less useless for the cops. Angus told him, that Mickey’s bodyguards, who got fired because Mickey got tired of them or because Terry blamed them for Mickey being a rebel, just got enough money to make sure they wouldn’t snitch to anyone and that’s it.</p><p>But Mickey knew how violent his family was. And for now, Iggy was in charge of security around this place. He hoped they didn’t do anything to Ian, like making sure he wouldn’t snitch by beating him up and scaring him.</p><p>Mickey: you okay?</p><p>Mickey finally sent him a text. He had a bad feeling about this. He distracted himself by texting with Sandy about their trip, but he ended up pacing through the room and sending him a few more texts.</p><p>Mickey: where are you?</p><p>Mickey: text me back this isn’t funny</p><p>He couldn’t get too emotional in his texts, because if something happened to Ian, if someone was on his phone and read those texts, they couldn’t get suspicious of their relationship too.</p><p>Evening rolled around, he called Ian before going to dinner, no one picked up, he tried a second time and Ian’s phone was dead. Mickey ran his hands through his hair, this wasn’t good… this wasn’t good.</p><p>He slowly went to dinner with his family, his hands were shaking. During the meal Mandy talked about her boyfriend, Mickey looked at his brothers and his father, as if they would tell him where Ian was when he looked at them long enough.</p><p>Mickey’s eyes eventually fell to Terry’s knuckles… bruised up knuckles.<br/>
He had beaten someone recently… Mickey’s heart beat went faster.<br/>
Did he beat Ian?</p><p>“What are you looking at, boy?”<br/>
“Nothing”, Mickey quickly said and looked away.</p><p>“You’re just overreacting, Ian is fine”, he said to himself later when he was back in his room, “He is fine, he is fine, he is fine”, he wished he had his drugs, he needed something to calm his nerves.</p><p>He went to bed around midnight and couldn’t find any sleep.<br/>
Eventually he texted Sandy</p><p>Mick: could you ask Ian’s sister if she heard from him? He doesn’t answer his phone</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>The next morning started with an answer from Sandy.</p><p>Sandy: she hasn’t heard from him, but worries about him</p><p>Sandy: He said he wanted to quit his job and since then he is gone</p><p>Mickey had bitten his fingernails down and his lip bloody. When there weren’t any news once it was after noon, Mickey couldn’t take it anymore.</p><p>He walked down the hallways to Field’s old office and went in without knocking, expecting Iggy to sit in Field’s old chair. But there sat another man, he belonged to the security staff, but he didn’t know his name.</p><p>“Who are you?”, Mickey asked.<br/>
“Archie Hughes, Sir”, he said.<br/>
“Are you new head of security? I thought Iggy took the job”<br/>
“He did, Sir. But he has to guard a prisoner, your father’s orders.”<br/>
“Prisoner?”, Mickey swallowed hard, he could feel his heart beating through his chest.</p><p>“Yes, Sir. A former security-“<br/>
Mickey didn’t need to hear more, he left the office again and walked down to one of Terry’s torture rooms. He was so in shock, he walked terribly slow. His whole body put up a fight against going there.</p><p>He found Iggy standing in front of a room with a heavy door.<br/>
“Mickey, what are you doing here?”</p><p>Mickey stared at the door, “It’s Ian, isn’t it?”<br/>
“Mickey, leave, come on, you get a new security detail.”<br/>
“Why is he here, he isn’t supposed to be here. He just wanted to quit.”<br/>
“Quit? Don’t know anything about that, bud, but dad said he’s a snitch. As far as I know he’s gonna go to the court room tomorrow.”<br/>
“He isn’t a snitch, he didn’t do anything”<br/>
“Sorry man, I guess you liked him, but if dad says he’s a snitch then he’s a snitch”</p><p>Mickey shook his head, “Let me in”<br/>
“Mickey, I can’t do that”<br/>
“Let me go in there, I want to talk to him”<br/>
“I’m not allowed to let anyone in, if dad finds out-“<br/>
“You fucking let me into that room or I will kick it in with your head first”, he said calmly, all his emotions had left his body for a moment, his thoughts were just on that fucking door and the court room.</p><p>Iggy looked at him for a longer moment and then slowly opened the door for Mickey.<br/>
“Five minutes”, he said.</p><p>Mickey entered the room. A figure sat in the middle of the room on the cold ground. He could see wild red hair, blood on a white shirt and pale skin. He looked up at Mickey, he opened his mouth to speak, but Mickey lay a finger on his own lips to silence him.</p><p>The Milkovich walked two steps to the right where a small hand camera sat on a table. Terry liked to record his torture to watch it later over and over again. Mickey shut the camera off.</p><p>As soon as it was off, the emotions found their way back into his body and he ran to Ian, he sank to his knees in front of him and wrapped his arms around him. He just started crying and sobbing, there was no use in trying to supress them.</p><p>“I’m so sorry”, Mickey whispered, “I’m so sorry”<br/>
“Shh”, Ian made, “It’s okay, Mickey”<br/>
“It’s not, look what they did to you”, he looked at him and ran his shaking fingers over Ian’s bruised up face, “I’m so sorry, freckles, I should have known, I-“</p><p>“Mickey it’s not your fault, listen to me, it’s not your fault”<br/>
Mickey was crying he leaned his head against Ian’s chest and sobbed into his shirt.<br/>
“I love you so much, Mickey, look at me… please look at me”</p><p>Mickey looked up at him again.<br/>
“I love you”<br/>
“I love you, too”, Mickey said and let his eyes drop to Ian’s hands, he took his bound hands in his and then hastily started to pull on the bindings, “I’ll get you out of here”, he said and tried to loosen the knots.</p><p>“Mickey there is no way…”<br/>
“I will get you out, I-I think of something, there has to be something”, he said frantically.<br/>
“Mickey, you can’t do anything, it’s over”, Ian said calmly, he had made his peace with the situation, he knew that his death was inevitable, “It’s over. But I love you so much and I will always love you, believe me.”</p><p>Mickey shook his head, “Don’t say that! Don’t you dare saying that! I will get you out of here or… or we’re both going to die”</p><p>“Mickey, no!”, Ian said sharply, “Mickey look me in the eyes, look at me”<br/>
Mickey looked at him, his eyes were red from crying.<br/>
“You have to promise me something”, Ian said softly, Mickey just shook his head, he didn’t want Ian to talk like he was about to die, but they both knew he was, so Ian said it anyways, “You have to promise me, that you will go to Sandy. Okay? Go to Sandy, leave this city, hell leave the fucking country. I want you to forget about me and I want you to find someone new to fall in love with, okay? You have to promise me that you will take that freedom that you want, you deserve to be free, Mickey, you deserve to have a random love. Promise me you won’t give up just because I’m not the one you will have that with”</p><p>Mickey shook his head, “Don’t talk like that”, he begged him, “You can’t die, too. Not you, anybody but you”, he whispered.<br/>
“Promise me, love”, Ian whispered, “Promise you’ll leave when this is over”<br/>
Mickey shook his head<br/>
“Mickey, it’s my final wish you can’t deny me that”<br/>
“I should have let you go to the army”, Mickey whispered, “If we wouldn’t have had that fight we could be gone already”<br/>
“Mickey stop, you’re not at fault. I don’t know how they found out about me but it’s not because of you, otherwise you would be here too, wouldn’t you? It’s not you. You need to remember that, love. Okay?”</p><p>Now Ian was crying too, and Mickey used his sleeve to gently wipe the tears off his freckles cheeks.<br/>
“Now promise me”, Ian whispered.<br/>
Mickey looked down, pain evident on his face, but he nodded, for Ian’s sake he nodded.</p><p>Then he cupped his cheeks and gently kissed him. They could taste the salty tears of the other on their lips. Mickey kissed him slowly, softly to not hurt him, but Ian didn’t care, he pushed against him and kissed him as fiercely as he could because he knew it would be the last time.</p><p>When they finally separated, Mickey ran his hand through Ian’s red hair again.<br/>
“I love you more than I ever could have loved Dimitri”, he said, “And I will never again love someone as much as I love you”<br/>
“I hope that’s not true for you”, Ian said, “But I love you too and I just want to be with you, free, and I want to get married to you and have the damn 3 kids and the Guinea pigs. And I'm so sorry that I won't be able to do that.”</p><p>Someone knocked loudly on the heavy door from outside and Mickey knew he had to leave now.<br/>
“Goodbye, my love”, Ian said, Mickey closed his eyes for a second and whispered:<br/>
“Goodbye, freckles”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Brother</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Why is it always stormy weather<br/>And brother, tell me if it all gets better<br/>Why did you leave? Why did you die?<br/>You finally made your brother cry<br/>I know you're watching over us tonight<br/>And I hope you're watching over us tonight</p><p>- Brother by Falling in Reverse</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Iggy Milkovich couldn’t help but wonder about his brother. After Mickey had talked to the prisoner, his youngest brother refused to look at him and just quickly walked away, but Iggy was sure he had cried.</p><p>Iggy usually just did what he was told to do. When Ian Gallagher came into his office yesterday morning, he was captured and put into one of Terry’s torture rooms. No questions asked.</p><p>Terry said he was a snitch and with that it was over for Iggy.</p><p>But he had met Ian Gallagher a few times over the last months he had been here. He was the best bodyguard Mickey ever had. He never let him escape, he spent the night with him when Mickey was tripping, he hid his drugs so Mickey would quit using so much. He had considered Ian a good friend to Mickey.</p><p>And Mickey and he seemed pretty close. Mickey wouldn’t allow any random bodyguard to sleep in his room on the couch just because he got high. He wouldn’t allow his bodyguard to hide his drugs, he wouldn’t demand to see him, and he wouldn’t cry after seeing him.</p><p>Something was going on here, something Terry, Collin and he didn’t know about, probably shouldn’t know about. It was itching the inside of Iggy’s brain, usually nothing did that. Usually he couldn’t care less about anything… but Mickey worried him.</p><p>All the drug use over years and the running away and coming back beaten up – Gallagher put a stop to that. Mickey’s wish to leave, Angus Field calling one of them (probably Mickey) evil, Mickey crying when Ian was in a cell for being a snitch… Iggy couldn’t help himself but wanting to find out what was going on.</p><p>It was around midnight, he was pacing through his room when he made up his mind.<br/>
He put some clothes on and quickly walked through the hallways of the building, his own security detail followed him closely. He got down to the room Gallagher was in. He was guarded of course but the guard let Iggy in pretty quickly.</p><p>Gallagher was allowed to sleep on a stained mattress in the corner of the room. Iggy quietly walked over to the camera Terry always used to film his prisoners with. It was shut off… Mickey must have shut it off… he didn’t want anyone to see or know what he had talked about with Gallagher. He walked to the left where another camera lay, a smaller one. Almost no one knew about it because it was exactly for spying on people who wanted to talk alone to the prisoner and shut off the first camera.</p><p>Iggy hoped Mickey had no idea about the second camera. He took it, it was still on. Iggy checked the recorded material. Yes, there Mickey and Ian, talking, hugging… kissing.<br/>
Iggy’s eyes widened. He stopped at a random point and tried to understand what they were saying.</p><p>
  <em>“I love you so much, Mickey, look at me… please look at me”<br/>
Mickey looked up at him again.<br/>
“I love you”<br/>
“I love you, too”</em>
</p><p>Iggy almost let the camera fall. They weren’t friends… they were lovers…<br/>
Iggy hid the camera under the thin jacket he had thrown over his clothes and left the room.<br/>
He wordlessly made his way to Collin’s room. He didn’t have a plan, he didn’t know what he wanted from Collin, his legs brought him there on their own.</p><p>He barged into the room, “Collin I need to talk to you!”<br/>
It was late, but Collin wasn’t sleeping yet. Instead he was in bed, naked, with a woman on top of him,<br/>
The girl squealed and pulled a blanket up to her chin.</p><p>“Ig, the fuck do you want? Can’t you knock? Where is my fucking – Henson! Where the fuck are you?”</p><p>Collin’s security detail Henson came in behind Iggy, “I’m sorry Sir, I tried to stop him, but-“<br/>
“Shut up, Henson”, Iggy said to him, “Collin send that girl home, it’s important”<br/>
“Whatever it is I’m sure it can wait until I’m finished here.”<br/>
“No, it can’t! Send her out or I tell dad about her. You’re supposed to marry that Mexican girl soon!”</p><p>Collin rolled his eyes and then said something in Ukrainian to the girl. She said something to him, and he just rolled his eyes, apologized, kissed her, and pushed her off him. They got dressed and the girl left the room angrily.</p><p>“So, what is it? Or did you just want to look at my dick”<br/>
“It’s about Mickey and the new prisoner, the bodyguard.”, Iggy said when they were finally alone, and Collin sat down behind his desk.</p><p>“What about them?”<br/>
“We can’t kill the bodyguard, Collin.”<br/>
“Why not? He’s a snitch, that’s what we do with snitches.”</p><p>Iggy shook his head, he went around the desk and showed him the camera.<br/>
“Mickey wanted to see Gallagher today and he didn’t shut off this camera. Watch it!”<br/>
“Why, what’s on it?”<br/>
“Just watch it!”, Iggy demanded.</p><p>Collin sighed and took the camera, he watched the scene of Ian and Mickey. How they kissed and hugged each other, how Mickey cried, the love declarations, the plan to run away.</p><p>“They are in love, Collin”, Iggy summarized.<br/>
Collin sighed, then looked up at his brother, “Did you show this to anyone else?”<br/>
“No”<br/>
“Good”, he took the SD card out and then smashed it with a heavy figure, which stood on his desk.</p><p>“Collin!”, Iggy exclaimed, “Why did you do that?”<br/>
“Because no one can know about this.”<br/>
“It doesn’t matter, we need to get Gallagher out of that hole. I don’t think he is a snitch, I think he loves Mickey.”</p><p>“Of course, he is not a damn snitch, Iggy”, Collin said and threw the remains of the card into the trash.<br/>
“What?”<br/>
“He isn’t a snitch”, Collin said, “He’s just gay and dad wants to kill him”<br/>
“Why? Mickey said the guy wanted to quit anyways, why would dad want to kill an innocent?”</p><p>Collin sighed, “Iggy, sit down.”</p><p>Iggy looked at him confused and sat down at the other side of the desk.<br/>
“It’s complicated… you see, years ago...fuck, there was this guy coming to dad. He said the kitchen boy and Mickey were having an affair.”<br/>
“So, dad knows he is gay?”<br/>
“Fuck, you know Mickey! He was the uncontrollable rebel child. Do you think dad wanted people to know that he was gay? He thought it was just part of Mickey’s rebellion and if he would kill his boyfriend, everything would be fine again.”</p><p>“Terry killed Mickey’s boyfriend to scare him straight?”<br/>
Collin sighed, “Pretty much, yeah. Before that he killed the other guy so he wouldn’t tell more people about it. The kitchen boy was innocent too. He executed him, said he was a snitch. He was cleaning the kitchen for a few weeks, he didn’t even know anything he could have snitched to anyone. I tried… I tried to convince dad to let the boy go, so what if Mickey likes dudes? Who cares?... He broke my arm because he cared. He doesn’t want to have a gay son, it would... I don’t know, ruin his reputation or whatever.”</p><p>“That’s bullshit!”<br/>
“Of course, it’s bullshit!”, Collin exclaimed, “You know dad, all of his fucking rules are bullshit. A few days ago, this dude is brought in. He has debts. He tries to buy himself free with information. We have a queer working for us and shit… Then dad gave the order to capture Gallagher.”</p><p>“So… does he know that he and Mickey too…?”<br/>
“That’s what he wants to find out. He beat that dude to a pulp the last couple of days to find out if he and Mickey have an affair too. Back then with the kitchen boy he brushed it off as Mickey’s rebellion. He said, he gets a chance to get his shit together. If he finds out that-that Mickey is still gay, that he and that bodyguard are together and that they even wanted to run away together – he will kill Mickey.”</p><p>Iggy swallowed hard and sunk into the chair, “So it’s either the bodyguard dies, and Mickey can leave for Sandy like he planned, or both die?”<br/>
“Yes, pretty much.”, Collin sighed, “Hey, I feel for the kid too, okay? The bodyguard shouldn’t have to die, Mickey should be allowed to love him. But that’s not how it works, okay?”</p><p>“It’s fucking unfair.”<br/>
“Yes, it is”, Collin nodded, “But if he dies without Mickey interfering, Mickey can leave and be with Sandy. And in New York he can do whatever he wants with whoever he wants. You heard that guy in the video, he’s gonna leave and he’s gonna find a new love.”</p><p>“You think he would find someone new after Terry killed not one but even two of his boyfriends?”, Iggy asked and got up, “People call me the stupid one in this family. Maybe I am fucking stupid. So explain this to me: Why is it okay that I have day-long orgies with women and men in my room, why it okay when dad tells us how he raped dudes in prison, why is it okay to kill innocents… but it’s not okay for our little brother to marry a man?”</p><p>Collin didn’t have an answer for him, there was no answer to this because it was bullshit and they both knew it. Collin said nothing, he just lowered his eyes on the desk in shame. Iggy shook his head and left the room.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Rescue me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The walls are coming closer<br/>My senses fade away<br/>I'm haunted by your shadow<br/>I reached to feel your face<br/>You're not here<br/>Are you here?<br/>Come and rescue me<br/>Rescue me<br/>You and Me</p><p>- Rescue me by Tokio Hotel</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mickey didn’t sleep the whole night.<br/>
It was the day after he had seen Ian in his little cell – even though prison cells were probably more comfortable than that room. Today they were supposed to get to the court room in the afternoon.</p><p>So far Mickey had thrown up, had a panic attack, cried for an hour, talked to Sandy over the phone for two hours while crying his heart out.</p><p>He looked at himself in the mirror. It was almost time to go down to the court room. He looked at his reflection, a scared, broken boy looking back at him.</p><p>“Look at you”, he said to himself, “Fucking coward! Got nothing better to do than to wail around while your boyfriend gets beaten half to death”</p><p>He took a deep breath, “It should be you”, he growled at his reflection, “The next one to die because of you, how many more will there be?!”</p><p>He stared at himself, at the pale boy with reddened eyes, the pathetic terrified mess who just let his lovers die one by one without doing anything about it.</p><p>He felt violent anger pulsating through his body, and he brought his fist hard against the mirror. The mirror broke into small pieces, the glass cut his tattooed knuckles. He barely flinched or grimaced, it was nothing against the pain Ian had to go through… Dimitri, Angus… all because of him.</p><p>Someone knocked on the door.<br/>
“Fuck off!”, he yelled.<br/>
“It’s me”, Mandy’s voice came from outside of the door, “We’re supposed to go to the court room now, Mickey, are you coming?”</p><p>Mickey exhaled deeply and took a towel to wipe his face and bloody knuckles.<br/>
He left the room and joined Mandy, he held his head low so she wouldn’t see his reddened eyes right away.</p><p>“What did you do to your hand?”, Mandy asked.<br/>
“Nothing”, he growled, “Mind your own business.”</p><p>They kept walking in silence until they reached the court room and took their places next to Iggy.</p><p>Mickey hated this room. How often did he stand in this very spot and saw someone being executed? Every single time, because Terry knew, it would make all of them accomplices to the crime. Because Terry wanted to assert dominance, scare people.</p><p>The first time he remembered to be in this room, he was seven. He remembered how shocked he was when they dragged in his mother. How he cried when Terry shot her dead.</p><p>He remembered how shocked he was when they dragged in Dimitri. How his heart broke when Terry shot him dead.</p><p>He remembered how shocked he was when they dragged in Angus Field. How he truly felt like a bad person when Terry shot him dead.</p><p>But now he knew who would be dragged into the room in a minute. He knew who would be shot, he knew who would die – and that hurt even more.</p><p>He let his head hang low and he felt like people were staring at him… as if his brothers and father to his right were all watching him, when Ian was dragged into the room and shoved to the ground in front of Terry. Mickey looked up to look at Ian.</p><p>At least he didn’t seem to be much worse than yesterday. His left eye was swollen and black and blue, he almost couldn’t spot a single freckle because of the bruises and the blood on his face.</p><p>He remembered Dimitri and Angus sitting in the same spot Ian sat at now, and Mickey really felt like the biggest evil in the room.</p><p>He brought them here, all of them. They were innocents that all died because of him. And maybe Dimitri had said, he didn’t regret him, but Mickey could bet, that Dimitri wanted something else out of life than dying for a crime he didn’t commit at age 18.</p><p>And Ian?</p><p>Ian, his Ian. The man he truly, really loved… he had so many plans with his life. And Mickey had nothing better to do than to ruin his plans, tell him his dreams were bullshit, make him chose between his two dreams. And now he would die because of Mickey without ever fulfilling any of his dreams.</p><p>Terry started speaking. It was just noise for Mickey. His words mixed with his words from the execution of Dimitri… Angus… his mother. It gave Mickey a headache.</p><p>He looked to his father, who stood four feet in front of Ian, next to him forming a half circle Collin, Iggy, Mickey, and Mandy.</p><p>“For that I sentence you to death for treason”, Terry growled, and Mickey couldn’t take in anymore. Terry pulled his gun out and held it towards Ian’s head.</p><p>The pain and fear of the last years, especially the last days, was rushing through Mickey's body and within a split second he leaped forwards and shoved Ian out of the way, Ian fell on the hard cold ground and Mickey was kneeling in his position now.</p><p>The room was dead silent. Like everyone was holding their breath, waiting for the next move from someone.</p><p>Mickey was looking at Ian, he could feel his dad and brothers' eyes stabbing him, he didn’t dare to move anymore.</p><p>“What are you doing, boy?!”, Terry growled. Mickey swallowed hard and turned towards him, sitting in the spot Dimitri and Angus were killed in, he looked up at his father, whose face was red from anger. His brothers next to him looked down at him in shock.</p><p>“I’m not letting you kill him!”, Mickey yelled at his father, “He did nothing wrong! He isn’t a fucking snitch and you know it!”</p><p>A mumble went through the audience, Terry looked over Mickey’s head to the cartel members and then furiously back down at his son.<br/>
“You just want to kill him because he is gay!”, Mickey spat.</p><p>In the second Mickey had shoved Ian out of the aim of the gun, he knew that his life was pretty much over. He knew he would get the same fate as his lovers before him, so he could at least take this moment and make it his. Tell his father and the cartel what he was really thinking.</p><p>“Move out of the way!”, Terry grunted.<br/>
“No!”, Mickey yelled, “If you want to kill him you have to kill me too! I’m not just gonna stand here while you kill him! I’m not gonna watch again!”</p><p>Mickey stood up, he was small, so they weren’t exactly eye to eye, but he knew how to assert dominance with his eyes. He made a daring step towards his father.</p><p>“He is innocent, you can’t kill innocents”<br/>
“He is not innocent!”, Terry growled, “He’s a goddamn faggot and I’m gonna blow his brains out, now move out of the fucking way!”</p><p>“No! You will have to blow my brains out too then because I love him!”</p><p>The handle of the gun landed in Mickey’s face with full force and Mickey fell to the ground. A numbing pain shot through his wrist, shoulder, and his face.</p><p>He heard Mandy gasp somewhere right from him, Ian lay somewhere left from him, he opened his eyes and immediately saw Terry towering over him, his fist was coming down on his face over and over again.</p><p>Pain spread through his entire face, he could hardly breathe because Terry sat on his chest, he tasted blood in his mouth.</p><p>Mickey was gasping for air while desperately trying to shove his father down from him again. Terry only hit him harder. He clasped his hands around Mickey’s throat and choked him, he shook him, so Mickey’s head hit the cold ground repeatedly. He was insulting and yelling at him, but he barely had an ear for it, he tried to turn his face enough to see Ian.</p><p>Ian had slowly made it to sit up again. He stared at Mickey being beaten by his dad in shock.<br/>
This wasn’t supposed to happen! He had made his peace with dying, but Mickey’s couldn’t die! Mickey couldn’t die without living one day in freedom!</p><p>He saw the gun lying between the two Milkoviches and his feet. When Terry had gotten down to Mickey to punch and choke him, he must have laid it beside them at some point and pushed it away into Ian’s direction.</p><p>Ian took his remaining strength together and slowly got closer to the gun, he got closer to the two, his hands were bound together in the front, he wasn’t sure if he could even shoot like this, but if he had the gun, he at least had a weapon against Terry.</p><p>He inched closer to it and finally could grab the gun, get it between his hands.</p><p>But that’s when Terry noticed him.</p><p>The Milkovich let go of Mickey, who started coughing violently, and pulled the gun away from Ian again, “What do you think you’re doing?”</p><p>He punched Ian across the face, so he was falling and lying on the ground again. He went back to Mickey, grabbed him by his shirt, pulled him up, pulled him over to Ian and shoved him to the ground again, so they lay next to each other.</p><p>Mickey’s whole body hurt, but he turned his face to Ian, he just wanted to look at him, he wanted to forget Terry for a second, he wanted to see Ian.</p><p>Ian looked down at him sadly.</p><p>“Why did you do that, Mick?”, he whispered, “You could have been free”<br/>
“How free would that be without you?”, he whispered back, “I won’t let you die and just stand there and watch, I can’t do that again, not this time, not with you”</p><p>A tear slowly rolled out of Ian’s eye, “I love you”<br/>
“I love you, too”, Mickey said, he ignored Terry’s insults, for a moment they were in a bubble of happiness, he smiled slightly, “At least, we are together till death do us part, right?”<br/>
Ian nodded and another tear escaped.</p><p>Mickey put a hand on Ian’s cheek and leaned to him, he kissed him. He kissed him softly in front of his dad, in front of his brothers and the cartel. He kissed  him not caring about anyone else, because that was his last kiss and it was just supposed to belong to them.</p><p>A loud noise and a sudden pain ripping through Ian’s leg broke their bubble.</p><p>Ian cried out in pain and Mickey looked down to see that Terry shot him in the leg.<br/>
“You bastard!”, he screamed up at him, “Stop hurting him!”</p><p>“Shut your fucking mouth!”, Terry growled, he aimed the gun at Ian, “I will kill your faggot boyfriend first, so you can see him die next to you and then I will kill you!”</p><p>Mickey scooted closer to Ian, he wrapped his arm around him and lay his head on his shoulder, hiding his face in his shirt.<br/>
Ian kissed the top of his head and shushed him. He closed his eyes too and hid his face in Mickey’s hair.</p><p>He heard a shot.<br/>
Mickey’s body jerked at the sound, he inhaled sharply.</p><p>Then there was a thud from a body falling to the ground.</p><p>Mickey opened his eyes and slowly looked up at Ian. No blood, no gun wound, he opened his eyes too and looked down at him. He was okay.</p><p>Mickey turned his head and looked to the spot Terry stood… but there was only Iggy. He had made a step away from his usual spot and he held a gun, Collin was standing next to him, shocked at his brother’s action. And on the ground lay Terry… shot to the head, dead.</p><p>Iggy’s breathing went fast.</p><p>The whole room was shocked, confused. No one knew what to do. The boss was just killed in front of them.</p><p>Collin slowly put his hand on Iggy’s arm and lowered it, he made a step forward.</p><p>“We kill snitches”, he said, he was fully in control of the tension in the room, “We don’t kill people for love. We don’t kill our brother.”</p><p>Iggy put the gun away again.</p><p>“With Terry dead, I’m the new boss”, Collin kept talking, “Now clear the room. And get rid of that piece of junk”, he said and pointed at his father.</p><p>Mickey was staring up at his brother in surprise, he exhaled deeply and hugged Ian.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Rebel Love Song</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I cannot hide what's on my mind<br/>I feel it burning deep inside<br/>A passion crime to take what's mine<br/>Let us start living for today<br/>Never gonna' change my mind<br/>We can leave it all behind<br/>Nothin's gonna' stop us<br/>No not this time<br/>So take your hand in mine<br/>It's ours tonight<br/>This is a rebel love song </p><p>- Rebel Love Song by Black Veil Brides</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mickey woke up in his bed.<br/>
He didn’t know how he ended up here. His head hurt, he felt a cold wind coming from an open window, he smelled tea.</p><p>He slowly opened his eyes and realised someone sat next to his bed. Hoping it would be Ian he fully opened his eyes to see who was sitting with him.</p><p>“Mick, fuck, finally!”, it was the voice of a girl, she leaned down to him, it was Sandy, “Hey, do you hear me?”</p><p>“Sandy?”, Mickey’s throat hurt, his cousin quickly grabbed the tea from the nightstand and handed it to him. Mickey leaned up a bit and drank the cold tea.<br/>
He leaned back down and looked to his other side, there sat Iggy.</p><p>“Hey bro”, he said, “How’s ya head?”<br/>
“Hurts like a motherfucker”, Mickey mumbled, “Where is Ian? Is he okay?”<br/>
“He’s fine”, Sandy said, “He’s in the infirmary.”<br/>
“Infirmary?”, Mickey asked, they didn’t have an infirmary in the cartel building, just a room they called “sterile” where a doctor who lost his license for medication abuse pulled bullets out of someone occasionally.</p><p>“Yeah, they got the bullet out of his leg, it wasn’t bad, he’s fine. They’re gonna bring him to a room soon and then you can go see him.”<br/>
“I have to see him now”, Mickey said and sat up, but Sandy pushed him down again.<br/>
“No, you stay here. You need to rest, Mickey.”<br/>
“I need to see Ian”<br/>
“He’s fine, Mick. But you both need to rest.”<br/>
“You a fucking doctor now?”<br/>
“Shut up”, Sandy rolled her eyes.</p><p>Mickey looked at Iggy, “And… and Dad?”<br/>
“Dead, separated, dissolved in acid.”<br/>
Mickey swallowed hard, “Thanks… but why?”<br/>
Iggy shrugged, “We kill people for snitching, not for cock sucking. We don’t let people kill our brother.”</p><p>Mickey bit his lip, “Thanks”, he mumbled, “A-and Collin?”<br/>
“He’s cool with it”, he shrugged, “He’s gonna give you the money to go to New York with the ginger.”, he got up, “I gotta go to a meeting with him, something about restructure or some shit. Sandy don’t let him out of that bed before tomorrow. Cuff him if you have to”</p><p>Sandy nodded, “Oh and Iggy”<br/>
Iggy stopped halfway out and turned back around to her.<br/>
“I’m gay too”, she said.<br/>
“You mean you eat pussy?”<br/>
“Yeah. And I’m fucking good at it”<br/>
Iggy laughed, nodded and then left the room.</p><p>Mickey looked at Sandy.<br/>
“Don’t look at me like that, I’m not letting you out. You have to rest. You were bleeding from your head, Mickey, your dad almost suffocated you”</p><p>“You weren’t even there”<br/>
“Your sister painted a pretty clear picture over the phone.”, she said and took some pills from the nightstand, “Lookie, I’ve got some awesome pain killers for you. They knock you right out and when you wake up again you can go see your fairy tale prince.”<br/>
“Shut up, gimme those pills.”, he took the meds from Sandy, “I was bleeding?”<br/>
“Yeah”, she nodded, “But you know Mandy, she could have exaggerated.”<br/>
Mickey nodded, “You promise Ian is okay?”<br/>
“Yeah, Debbie said he already asked for you as well. But stay in bed"</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~    </p><p>Two days later, Sandy was unable to keep Mickey in bed anymore. He took his things and quickly walked down the hallways. Sandy ran after him, “Mick, you don’t know which room he’s in”<br/>
“Then tell me where he is, I want to see him!”, Mickey demanded and walked faster, but his head started to hurt, he stopped and leaned against a wall.</p><p>“Mick, slow down, you had a serious concussion, your dad almost killed you.”<br/>
“And he almost killed Ian too and I want to see him”<br/>
Sandy sighed, “Okay, fuck, I bring you to him. But don’t run.”</p><p>Sandy slowly brought him to a room, she knocked and opened the door. As soon as Mickey spotted Ian’s red hair in the bed, he ignored Sandy’s order to slow down. He ran to the bed to Ian’s side, completely ignoring the rest of Ian’s family which formed a circle around Ian’s bed.</p><p>Ian looked at him and started smiling when he saw him.<br/>
“Mickey”, he mumbled, “Finally”<br/>
Mickey leaned over him to kiss him softly.<br/>
“Sorry that it took me so long”, he whispered when he separated from him again, “Sandy refused to let me go.”<br/>
“It’s okay, you needed to rest, you were bleeding from the head”<br/>
“You were shot”, Mickey ran his hand through his red hair.</p><p>“I’m okay. I can still run marathons. What about your head, huh?”<br/>
“Fucking hurts”, Mickey smiled, “I was worried about you”<br/>
“You can’t just do something like that though. You could have died.”<br/>
Mickey shrugged, “I’m just glad you’re okay”, he kissed him again.</p><p>Ian put his hand on Mickey’s cheek, “I love you so much, Mickey”<br/>
“I love you, too”<br/>
“Do you still want to leave this place?”<br/>
“Yeah”, Mickey nodded, “Will you still come with me?”<br/>
“Of course, I will, Babes. I will come with you, and we will be together, yeah, forever?”<br/>
Mickey nodded, “And you can go to the army if you want to, I don’t want to be in your way.”<br/>
“You couldn’t be in my way”, Ian smiled, “Fuck the Army. I think I had enough adventure for now. I just want to come with you and be together with you, like we planned”<br/>
Mickey nodded and kissed him softly again.</p><p>When they separated Ian turned his head to his brother who sat next to the bed on the other side, “Lip, could you…”<br/>
“Really, now?”<br/>
“Yeah, now”, Ian nodded.</p><p>Lip sighed and pulled something out of his jeans pocket.<br/>
“Give it here.”<br/>
Lip rolled his eyes, Mickey stretched his neck to be able to see what Lip held in his hand. It was a black box… a ring box<br/>
Ian couldn’t move a lot, he held out his hand to Lip, and the older brother opened the box and put it into Ian’s hand.</p><p>The Gallagher turned back to Mickey, who stared at the small ring in the box.<br/>
Ian held the box into Mickey’s direction, “I can’t do the whole getting up and getting on one knee thing right now, but”, he took a deep breath, “I love you Mickey Milkovich, and if you let me I would like to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?”</p><p>Mickey started grinning and nodding, “Of course I’ll fucking marry you”, he said and kissed him, longer this time, a smile on both of their lips.<br/>
“You gotta put on the ring”, Ian whispered when they separated for a moment.<br/>
Mickey took the ring from Ian and put it on his finger. Ian grinned, took his hand and kissed his knuckles and the cold ring.</p><p>“Fits perfectly”, Ian mumbled, “Your hands are as small as my brother’s”<br/>
“Don’t ruin it”, Mickey whispered and kissed him again.<br/>
“Why? I like your small hands, everything looks bigger in them, that’s one of the reasons why I love you”, he smirked.<br/>
Mickey chuckled, “Shithead”, he grinned.</p><p>Lip just shook his head and looked at his siblings, “We should probably go”, he put a hand on Ian’s shoulder, “Congratulations. We come back tomorrow, okay?”<br/>
“Yeah, thanks”, Ian mumbled.</p><p>The Gallagher family slowly left the room and Ian lifted his blanket up and scooted back so Mickey could lie down next to him. They kissed softly again. Mickey lay down on Ian’s chest and listened to his heartbeat.</p><p>“When you can walk again we leave”, Mickey whispered smiling, “I go to college and you become the world-best EMT, we will get our own apartment and we will go on dates all the time and we’re gonna get married.”<br/>
Ian ran his hand through Mickey’s hair, secretly inspecting the wound on his head, “It sounds perfect, where do you want to get married, here or in New York?”<br/>
“Well, mine and your family is here, so would be more practical to get married in Chicago, wouldn’t it?”<br/>
“Yeah… more importantly, where do you wanna honeymoon?”<br/>
Mickey chuckled, “Wherever you want. Iggy said, Collin’s gonna give us the money to leave, maybe he’s gonna pay for the wedding and Honeymoon as well.”</p><p>Ian smiled, he looked at the ring on Mickey’s finger, “When do you want to have our first child?”<br/>
Mickey shrugged, “I don't know... when we're earning our own money and are married and ready for a child... maybe even after I finished Collgege... or after they threw me out.”<br/>
Ian grinned, “I’m gonna have a husband with college education.”<br/>
Mickey turned around to look at his face, “I like how you say husband… say it again.”<br/>
Ian laughed, “You’re gonna be my husband Mickey, my smart, sober husband.”<br/>
Mickey grinned and leaned over him again to kiss him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Killing Loneliness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm killing loneliness<br/>With the warmth of your arms you saved me<br/>Oh, I'm killing loneliness with you  </p><p>- Killing Loneliness by HIM</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Six Years later</p><p>Mickey woke up in Ian’s arms, every morning that started like this was a good one – even when he was woken up at 5 am because Ian had the morning shift.</p><p>Ian kissed his neck, this was definitely the best way to wake up. <br/>
“Good morning”, he whispered.<br/>
“What time is it?”<br/>
“Almost seven”<br/>
“Too early”, Mickey groaned and hid his face in the pillow.<br/>
“We’ve got half an hour before the kids wake up.”<br/>
“Half an hour, huh?”, Mickey smirked.<br/>
“I don’t think Elijah ever slept this long”<br/>
“He woke up twice tonight, you just slept through it”<br/>
“Sorry”, Ian mumbled and ran his hand up Mickey’s body under his shirt.</p><p>Mickey grinned, “You’re forgiven, now take those stupid boxers off.”<br/>
Ian smirked and leaned over him and kissed his lips, but of course, when he was about to take their clothes off, a baby was crying over the baby phone.</p><p>Ian groaned, Mickey just chuckled.<br/>
“Your son is a cockblocker”, Mickey smiled, “I go get him”</p><p>The Milkovich got up and went to the nursery to get the baby. He came back and lay back down with Elijah on his chest, he lifted the baby up and stuck his tongue out to him, the baby laughed at him.<br/>
“You’re just a little attention whore, huh? Didn’t even have a problem.”<br/>
“Don’t call our baby a whore, Mickey”, Ian whispered and stroked over the baby’s red hair.<br/>
“He doesn’t know what it means. It’s true though. He woke me up twice last night and nothing. Didn’t need a diaper change, didn’t want a bottle, just wanted attention.”</p><p>“Well”, Ian grinned, “He takes after you in that”<br/>
“Yeah, somehow I doubt that he has a lot of my genetic material, right my little firefly?”, he stuck his tongue out to Elijah again, because it always made him laugh.</p><p>They had used a surrogate for their kids, both had donated their sperm, so it was random who the biological father was in the end. But the baby’s little hairs on the top of his head looked like flames, so it was pretty obvious that Ian was Elijah’s biological father.</p><p>Ian kissed Mickey softly, and heard little feet tripling around the hallway.<br/>
“And the next one is up”, Ian whispered, “Guess the sex is off the table until tonight”<br/>
“If you play your cards right it will be on the table tonight, literally”, Mickey whispered and kissed him, until their daughter appeared next to their bed and tried to climb up their bed. Ian sat up and picked the four-year-old up. The girl had Mickey’s black hair and blue eyes.</p><p>“Morning little bug.”<br/>
“I’m hungry.”<br/>
“Hungry? You want to make breakfast with daddy?”<br/>
“Yes, yes, yes”, she jumped up and down on the bed, “Pancakes, Pancakes”<br/>
“Ello, please, don’t jump on the baby”, Mickey said, “Your dad makes pancakes with you”<br/>
“Pancakes again? We’re all gonna get fat”<br/>
“You work out all the time and I lift baby weights”, Mickey smiled and lifted up the baby like weights.</p><p>“Okay, Pancakes it is”, Ian grinned and sat up.<br/>
“Yes, yes, yes”, Eloise jumped on her dad. Ian picked her up and put her down on the ground so he could get up as well.<br/>
“So, Ello, can you go get dressed on your own like a big girl already?”<br/>
“Yes”<br/>
“Okay, we meet in the kitchen, and bring your hairbrush, yeah?”<br/>
“No, pops has to make my hair, he makes it better than you”, Eloise stuck her tongue out to her daddy and ran to her room.</p><p>Ian shook his head and changed his shirt.<br/>
“You teach them that with the tongue”, he said to his husband and changed the rest of his clothes.<br/>
“She’s right, I make her hair better than you.”, he said and stuck his tongue out to him.<br/>
“When you do it, it’s in invitation, Babes”<br/>
Mickey winked at him and got up as well, “I get Elijah dressed, you make pancakes.”, he walked over to him and kissed him.</p><p>“Do you think I’m fat?”<br/>
“Is it insecure-time again?”<br/>
“You said we’re having pancakes too often and we’re getting fat. And I’m not running marathons in contrast to you.”<br/>
“You’re beautiful”, he kissed his forehead, “And I know that you only say shit like that to get compliments out of me”<br/>
Mickey smirked, “Well, it’s working every time, isn’t it?”</p><p>Ian rolled his eyes and kissed his lips, “I love you, you’re beautiful and tonight I’m gonna fuck you on the table”<br/>
“And that’s okay to say in front of the baby?”<br/>
“He doesn’t understand it, I wouldn’t repeat it in front of Ello though.”<br/>
“Good choice. Now go make your husband pancakes.”</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>Ian sat at the table with Elijah in his arms and was feeding him. Mickey brushed Ello’s hair and tied it into two pigtails.<br/>
“See, pops is doing it better than daddy, right?”, Mickey teased and both him and Eloise stuck out their tongues to Ian at the same time.</p><p>“You became a teacher just to teach our kids how to be disrespectful?”<br/>
“Wake up, it’s the only thing we learn how to do while becoming teachers.”</p><p>Mickey sat down at the table and put a pancake on Ello’s plate, when the door opened and was thrown shut again.<br/>
“Hey, Sandy”, Mickey called through the kitchen before his cousin even entered the room.<br/>
“Hey boys”, she said and went straight for the cabinets.<br/>
“We really need that key back at some point, Sandy”, Ian said to her.<br/>
“You can say that again when you need a babysitter next date night.”, Sandy grinned at him, “I need honey, Debbie wants honey, Debbie gets honey.”</p><p>“Cabinet above the sink”, Mickey said, “And since when do you let your girlfriend control you like that, huh?”<br/>
“Since she’s pregnant and so moody I’m afraid she might blow up our apartment every time I forget to buy eggs”<br/>
Mickey smirked, “That’s what you get when you’re dating a Gallagher.”<br/>
“Says you?”, Ian smirked at him.</p><p>“I want honey on my pancake, too”, Ello said.<br/>
“No, Ello, you’re gonna put it all in your hair again”<br/>
“I want honey, I want honey”, Ello demanded.<br/>
Sandy sighed, opened the honey, and put some of it on Ello’s pancake.<br/>
“So many kids”, she sighed, “You’re mad.”<br/>
“You’re about to have three kids, you’re aware of that, right?”<br/>
“Yeah, but we didn’t plan it. Who could have known that stupid cell just randomly parts into two? If you still want three children, you can have one of the twins.”</p><p>Mickey rolled his eyes, “Go ahead play the tough one, I know that you love those babies already.”<br/>
Sandy rolled her eyes, “Your wish for soft family moments is just spreading like a virus.”<br/>
Ian grinned at her, “You’re right with that. But you gotta keep both twins, we said, the third child comes when Elijah is three and we got a house with a yard.”<br/>
“And we don’t live directly next to you and Debbie anymore”, Mickey added and grinned at her, “Now bring the honey to your girlfriend before she changes her mind again.”  </p><p>Sandy smiled, kissed Ello’s forehead, and left the apartment again.<br/>
“If we ever move, would they even survive when there’s no one to steal food from anymore?”, Ian asked Mickey and got up to put Elijah into his playpen.<br/>
“I wouldn’t be surprised if they just follow us and move into a house next door. She did the same when we moved here.”</p><p>Ian went back to his husband and sat next to him, "Maybe we don't have to tell them where we move to."<br/>
"It does come in handy to have them next door when they watch the kids on date night", Mickey reminded him.<br/>
Ian chuckled and nodded, he kissed him softly.</p><p>"Oops", came it from their daughter suddenly, they looked at her, the girl had spread all the honey from her pancake across her face and her hair, and had let the pancake fall to the ground.</p><p>Ian sighed, "Why do I even make pancakes if you only wear them as hat?", he picked Ello up and put her on the ground, "Don't touch anything, go to the bathroom, you're taking a bath" <br/>
"No!", Eloise shouted and started running away.<br/>
"Ello! Stay here, don't touch anything!"<br/>
"No, I don't want to take a bath, it's wet!"</p><p>Ian turned around to his husband, "She's definitly your daughter"<br/>
Mickey grinned up at him, "Go fetch the child, I start running the bath", he said and got up.</p><p>“Of course, leave the hard, running around task to me", Ian rolled his eyes.<br/>
"Hey, that's what you're doing the marathones for, right?"<br/>
"You're lucky that I love you”<br/>
“Love you, too”, Mickey smiled and went to the bathroom. </p><p>Ian started following Ello.<br/>
"Eloise Angela Gallagher-Milkovich, come here!", Ian shouted through teh apartment while running after the toddler.<br/>
Mickey bit his lip, "He was right about the name", he mumbled, "The kids will be run over by cars before he can finish shouting 'Elijah Dima Gallagher-Milkovich' over the parking lot" </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The End<br/>Thanks for reading<br/>I hope you liked this little Family-treat in the end</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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